Dad died after bronchopneumoniae

After an 11 month battle with oesophagael cancer, my dad passed away, but it was the pneumonia that got him and that has left a sour taste in my mouth.

He suffered a lot in those months, having had surgery to remove the oesophagael cancer, only to find the cancer had spread slightly but there was hope with chemotherapy. My dad underwent that too for 6 months, and we went to the hospital with a clear mind, believing his overall happiness was an indication of the chemo's success.

Far from it. It turned out the cancer had spread to his liver and was incurable. The only solution left was palliative care.

So we put on a brave face and told him he'll have time with us, time to see his daughter get married, time to spend with his family and friends. We'll give him tons of memories. 

But we didn't even get that. 

A few weeks before his daughter's wedding, my dad's state had gotten considerably worse. He was sleeping so much, being tired all the time, and had this horrible cough that he just couldn't shake. So we called the ambulance who said it seems like mild pneumonia so with antibiotics, he should be fine.

In the hospital the next morning, he had a cardiac arrest after being starved of oxygen due to the pneumonia affecting his lungs. I held his hand as he took his last breaths, thinking maybe it was the cancer that had got him. And I know that would certainly have had an effect, I'm just aggrieved that it was something else.

I don't know if anyone's suffered a similar case but I'm finding it very hard to cope with this. He was taken so soon and suffered so much with the surgery and chemo. He always put on a brave face and you could tell he was fighting to stay alive in that hospital bed but just couldn't. I've never cried so much in my life. 

  • Hi Cyberhits, 

    I'm really sorry to read about your dad's passing and what he has been through over the last 11 months and would like to pass on my heartfelt condolences for your loss.

    Although you didn't get the chance or the time to make lots of memories, you were by his side and holding his hand when he needed it the most and I'm sure that meant the world to him.

    It can be tough coming to terms with the fact that something instead of the cancer was the possbile cause of his passing as many of our members here know and hopefully some of them will be along to offer their support and share their experiences with you.

    When times get tough, try and remind yourself that he is no longer suffering and is now at peace.

    It will take some time to get through this but we will be here to listen and help you every step of the way.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hello cyberhits.  I have just read all your previous posts (I did not start posting here until the beginning of December 2017) and realised how positive you sounded and confident that your dad would beat his cancer.  I have many times thought what a vile beast cancer is, without any morality, getting your hopes up only to dash them down.  My own father - who did not have cancer - died of pneumonia which was - in his case - at least a peaceful passing.  I have heard pneumonia called "the old man's friend" which I guess is because - in my dad's case anyway - it gave him a peaceful passing when his body was worn out.  He didn't have the nasty cough which you have described your dad as suffering.  I can understand you wondering why on earth your dad had to put up such a fight with his cancer all to no avail and I am afraid there are no acceptable answers.  This happens far too often.  The pages of this forum give us so many similarly seemingly unfair stories and I am am sorry that this is adding to your distress.  Annie