I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your Dad. and extend my sincere sympathy to you and your family at this sad time.. Everything nust have progressed very quickly for him to have died within only 4 weks from diagnosis. You must have found this very difficult to deal with?
You do not say what age you are or what family you have to support you.. There is always someone here for you whenever you want information, support or you just want to rant about things. Although this sounds very trite at present, things do get a little easier with time,.
I am thinking of you and your family at this sad time.
Thank you Jolamine. I'm 49 and have family support and great friends. Two sisters and a husband and two lovely children. Yet I still feel lonely. I can't be upset in front of my mum or sisters as they suffering themselves. We lost dad 6 months ago yet the pain is still so raw. I can't comprehend I will never see his smile or have a hug ever again. I miss him so much. I can't believe I will ever feel joyful again. We were very close. I feel I should be coming to terms with this but am just so low and don't know how to pick myself up.
Hi there sal ... when my mum (and she was my best friend too) died suddenly and I couldn't move on and cryed so much I thought I'd never stop ... one day her record came on the radio ... I just called to say I love you ... which she used to call me all hours of the day , just to sing it to me down the phone ... it hit me that if she could see me, it would break her heart to see me grieving so ... she was full of love and laughter and always the first with a corny joke ... she adored my boys and loved to see them laughing...
i knew then I had to stop being so sad as it wasn't fare on my boys and I wanted to make mum proud of me and knew if she saw me making the most of life she would smile .. though I still have few tears when her record comes on ...
now I have my cancer journey and I've told my lads , I'll be watching over them and I'd better see them living their life full of happiness and smiles ... the thought of them not coping is too much to bear ...
i know it's early days yet and is still raw ... but hold on in there and oh so slowly it will ease ... a saying I love is "don't cry coz you loose someone ... smile because you had them" sending you a big hug ... Chrisie Xx
I am glad to hear that you have good support from both family and friends. Sometimes, we can find it easier to talk to other family who are suffering too. Keeping things all bottled up helps nobody. It can help you all to talk openly about your Dad. You will find that you can evoke family memories, which you will all recall and maybe even smile about?
Everyone grieves in a different way and some take a lot longer than others to come to terms with their loss. Others have plenty of advance warning that they are losing a loved one and, almost seem to start the process slowly from diagnosis. You didn't have that luxury. It all happened so suddenly, that you are almost dealing with the shock of diagnosis and your loss as one. Six months is still early days, but you will eventually smile again - life is too short not to.
Have you considered seeing a counsellor? This isn't for everyone, but some people find it very helpful. There are a number of cancer charities which provide this service.
There comes a time when you have to pick yourself up for the sake of your husband and your two lovely children. Also your Mum will probably take the longest of all of you to accept what has happened. When you have lived with a partner for so many years, it is not just a case of adapting to the loss, but also to a total change of life. This can be a very lonely existence, when she has been used to having three girls and a husband to look after for over half a century. By helping her you will help yourself.
If you do feel really low and at a stage where you need medical help, see your GP. He can prescribe an anti-depressant, which might help you through this.
Thinking of you and your family and sending you all positive vibes.
