Hi dollysayshi 

I am very sorry to read your post, and sad for you. You are grieving. When we lose someone we love, its very normal to question ones own mortality. We are all human and we're all going to die one day, we just don't know when. (Thank goodness) Its difficult to lose someone of any age but when someone young dies, it must be very hard to understand why. I lost my darling husband 6 weeks ago at the age of 71, and I think that was too young and it's unfair, so I can only imagine what you are going through. 

I have been given lots of good advice on this forum and also lots of love and kind wishes. The thing that sticks in my mind is that every thing we go through when we are grieving is normal. Believe me, I have gone through the most irrational feeling, thoughts, and ideas, and I still am. But that's what grief does to you.

Give yourself time to grieve, and be kind to yourself.  My motto since I lost my darling John, is 'One day at a time.

Take care and best wishes

xxx

Hi there ...

And welcome ... going through caring for someone at the end of their journey...  makes us question our own mortality ... and feeling like every ache and pain is something is quite normal ... like us cancer friends, we get that same feeling ever time something hurts ... it's nateral ...

But I think, those feelings you held in while caring, has come tumbling out ... like a tidal wave ... and everything is mixed up ... it's only my thoughts .. but I think you need to care for you now ... think of one thought at a time, and acknowledge that thought .. admit how it makes you feel ... and be in the mindset ..to put that aside... and move on to the next emotion ...

I had a problem, when I helped end of life care with my big tough strong bro in law .. where he went totally helpless ... a few years later, someone said... we care like that at the start of life... it's the same care and love at the end of that life ...it's the life inbetween that counts ... and it helped me stop that picture of I had in my head ...now I remember that "in between "   

Try not to be too hard on yourself ... it's a chapter of your life ... it's working through the hard ones ... we all have those ... and they are an important part of life ... and the one lesson I take.. is love everyone today ... don't look ahead... no one knows what tomorrow will bring... then every day , is a day lived ...

Sending you a big hug ... Chrissie

Hi there i lost my partner 6 months ago and i was same as you i think your not alone on that one especially as you were a carer allso the guilt you couldnt keep them going i think we get realy hurt more than otheres plus we tend to live on adrenalin to keep going and onece the person your caring for passes we go bang so your not selfish at all or you wouldnt have been a carrer so just look after yourself now till you become more level as when a love one passes we go a bit crazy for a while .best wishs to you paul