Convinced I’m about to receive bad news

I'm sorry if this is long winded but I really need to talk and see what other people think as I'm convinced I'm about to receive bad news. 
 

Over a year ago during the first lockdown around June 2020 I noticed a lump in the right side of my groin, it was very visible and thought I had a hernia, I rang my GP and was given an appointment at which he said he too suspected a hernia and to return if it hadn't gone down in 3 months. Given the pandemic and returning to work I didn't return until January  2021. At this point he also requested a blood test which showed a low white blood count. 
 

my GP referred my for an ultra sound scan which I had in around a month later, during the ultra sound the sonograher seemed to concentrate above the area where the lump was and when I told him the lump was lower he said he knew but wanted a clear picture of above the lump he did a through job of both right and left sides. My GP called me a few weeks later and said the scan showed no hernia but did find something on my left side and that the advice was to investigate but as I wasn't ill he didn't think there was any point? He did at that point refer me for a pelvic CT scan which I had in March. My GP said the results of that were no hernia but as we could clearly see a hernia he was referring me to a surgeon. 
 

I had my appointment with the surgeon in July who instantly said it was not a hernia, he then read through my previous results and informed me that the lump was an excessively enlarged lymph node and asked if I was aware that I had a cluster of enlarged lymph nodes above it and an extremely large cyst on my ovary on the left side, I explained I wasn't aware of any of this and he looked to be rather perplexed. He said he would want another ultrasound and CT scan and that if the nodes haven't decreased in size since the last scans they will be removed for biopsy. 
 

I went home and only an hour later had a call from the hospital to go in for the ultrasound and CT scan and blood tests the next day which instantly rang alarm bells as he hadn't said it would be that quick. 
 

I have an appointment with my surgeon on Monday and I'm so worried I'm absolutely convinced I'm going to receive bad news. 
 

aside from the lump I have terrible night sweats, which I had put down to peri menopause, severe tirednes, which I put down to just being busy and my periods come when and if they want and are extremely heavy when they do come and pain in the area above where the lump is. In the last week or so I have started to experience extreme black bruises appearing which do not hurt. I feel full after eating even tiny amounts and if I eat what would be considered a normal meal for most im starting to be sick. 
 

im sorry it's such a long post but I just need to get it all out and wonder what people think it could be? Im hoping im worrying over nothing but I just can't stop thinking about it and Monday seems so far away. 

  • Hello... I'm sorry I can't provide any suggestions on what it may be but I just wanted to send a virtual hug. This not knowing is the worst and I totally relate to the convinced your away to get bad news feeling. Try to keep busy and Monday will hopefully be here before you know it.  Take care and let us know how it goes xxx

  • Thank you your reply is very much appreciated. I think it's the waiting that's the worst of it. I'm trying to keep busy but I'm litterally counting down the days. 
     

    I will update here as soon as I get more info on Monday  

    Thank you so much again x