Hi Midgetgem,

A very warm welcome to Cancer Chat.

I am so sorry to hear of your mum's diagnosis and the mystery attached to her staging. I am not a medic, just another breast cancer pilgrim, but I am puzzled by this staging when there is no lymph node involvment and that the rest of the body is clear. Have you asked her surgeon about this? He is in the best position to know, as he knows your mum and has all of her medical records. Never leave a consultation if you don't understand why something is said. Sometimes doctors forget that we are not cancer experts ourselves and they fail to give adequate reasons for their choices.

You could also phone the nurses here and ask this question. They can be reached on 0808 800 4040. The number is freephone from any UK landline and they are contactable Mon - Fri from 9.00am - 5.00pm.

I am sure that your dad is naturally very stressed. Have you asked her surgeon for a prognosis? This might help your dad to know roughly how long she has left.

Please let us know what answers you get. We are always here for you all.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi there, it's confusing as my husband has stage four lung cancer, treatable but not curable.  My understanding is that they can contain it but it's not going away.  Our tumour has shrunk by half but will grow back so not curable.   As Jolamine says ask the experts.  Hss she got a Mc Millan nurse, if Mum gives permission they will talk to you honestly.   Good luck.  Caz.

Hi,

Sorry to read about your Mum's condition. I hate to ask but who was it told you that it was Stage 4 and terminal? I ask because staging cannot normally be done ahead of any scans. Similarly a terminal prognosis isn't normally given until the stage has been confirmed and all treatment options ruled out.

It would be worth you or your Dad talking to your Mum's care team and asking exactly what her condition and prognosis is. They will need Mum's permission to talk to you but at least you will know exactly what has and has not been said.

Best wishes

Dave

So sorry for not replying. Just discovered there are no notifications.

Well mum got her diagnosis wrong! Happens when you're a strong willed person I guess who wont accept help. It was T4 not stage 4 and mum presumed that meant termnal stage 4. A horrendous few months I tell you. The disection went well & MRI clear. All good so far. At least she promises now to take someone with her. 

Thank you for your help xx

Hi Midgetgem,

I am so relieved to hear from you ad to discover that your mum's diagnosis has finally been sorted out. It is always advisable for her to take someone with her to all of her appointments and to write down any questions she has ahead of any consultation.

This must be a tremendous relief for all of your family. Don't forget that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx