Hi Bunni,

I'm afraid the word normal doesn't seem to apply in these situations, but your description sounds very much like my Mum's condition in her final weeks of life. She would be very lucid and alert one minute and then sleep for hours.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes
Dave 

DaveK

Thank you so much for your reply, I am so sorry about your mom. I think maybe I am hoping it is a sign he is improving even though deep down I know he isn’t. I had this picture in my head that he would just sleep more and more and it would be obvious he was going. I just feel confused and a little helpless. 

Xx

Hi again,

I think it is sad that none of us seem to know what to expect these days. Hollywood movies and TV dramas inform our expectations and the reality is almost never as dramatic or as neat as we expect it to be. Make the most of his jolly days and help him enjoy them by sharing them with him.

Best wishes
Dave :-) 

Hi Bunnie

i never thought I would be here on a Tuesday night writing to a stranger about cancer, probably all of us on here feel the same right but it's the only comfort me get during the worst time of or life finding out that our parent has cancer ans is dying.

i found out last month that my dad has lung and pancreatic cancer. Just last week found out he has only a few weeks left.

i feel like my world is ended.

my dad prefers to die at home not in a hospice. We are already discussing his funeral and I haven't even cried until this evening as it's only sinking in now.

i know it's the hardest but please try ans stay strong and try to spend as much time as u can. 

My dad was taking last week and now he can't even eat and is bed bound. Time is so precious 

Life is so cruel sometimes but we have to stay strong 

Thinking of u and your dad. WIsh u all the best. 

 Bella xx 

I know this was posted a few days ago so not sure if anything has changed but rhought I would reply anyway. I am very sorry to be reading this post about your Dad. I sympathise with what you're saying... my Dad had bowel cancer which had spread to his lungs and liver. Then in April this year it had also travelled to the brain. From then on it was awful and he really deteoriated. Nobody tells you what happens when cancer travels to the brain and wow it was a shock. I won't go into detail but it was horrendous to watch. My dad also ended up in a hospital. He had sleepy days and then other days he'd perk up. When he would perk up I'd get my hopes up that he wasn't as bad as they were saying but the doctor brought me back to reality. He said that dying patients do experience good and bad days but the good days don't tend to mean anything because a dying patient is deteoriating every day inside. Sometimes they also refer it as the patient 'rallying' around this means a dying patient will get a burst of energy where they appear quite well but it doesn't usually last for long. My dad was allowed to come home to die. And towards the end his breathing became laboured days before he died. This then followed by the death rattle. The death rattle doesn't occur in everyone, but it did with my Dad. Unfortunately my Dad died on 23rd August. I'm now a 28 year old with no Dad and feel very robbed. 

Other signs my Dad had before he died: he ate less and less around a week before. This followed by hardly any fluids too. So we started using a sponge to moisten his lips. He slept a whole 3 days before he died. The day he died a death rattle developed which was awful to hear and luckily medication was given to quieten it down. He also had a temperature when he died...not everyone is cold beforehand. 

Big hugs to you feel free to msg me if you like x