Caring for your loved one

ortant we get some kind of support too? I met my angel last year. She and I met via a tv makeover show...she was picked as she had IVF treatment and gave birth to amazing triplets..then she found a lump on her breast two months later. She had cancer. She went through hell and back too much to say but she over came so many obstacles and in the process won women of the year and more accolades to boot. I met her as I work on a makeover show which we try and change people's lives. When I worked on hers...she changed mine...so much. We have never dated without her having Cancer..she told me she had it back...I just kind of just took it on board...invited her over the next day after the news...no dates...no wining and dining...just that. She came over and we had tea..then sat on the sofa...after a while ended up in eachothers arms....now we have fallen madly in love I have spent every chemo session with her making the best of a bad or difficult situation...but we are always upbeat..always. Had a blip...yesterday she had great news..I was with her but she felt she needed to see her oncologist alone..she has her reasons I respect that.. But I was left feeling totally alone and felt after spending days in Chemo now all the nurses ddint recognise me..Emma didn't invite me in... I felt so totally lost. I know she loves me to absolute pieces but it's an emotion I want to share with the carers as I feel it's so im

 

  • Hi and welcome to the forum. Just great that you have found love and been wonderfully supportive during a very difficult time for your girlfriend. Having been there every inch of the way gives an insight into what treatment involves (my husband chose to go for treatment alone apart from the first session). I am wondering if you asked Emma her reason for asking you wait outside whilst she saw the oncologist alone.My husband had some of his appointments without me because he could not handle the emotional side of things and needed to be able to be in control to absorb any information he was going to be given, then process it before sharing. I am sure she was glad to have you to come out to afterwards and that she was able to share good news. Totally understand you feeling bewildered and alone after you have been involved during her cancer journey but sometimes the sufferers need space too.  Hope the good news continues and you were able to celebrate that together.  Wishing you both well.Jules54

  • Hi

    Just wanted to welcome you to the forum and hope you find it helpful. Your girlfriend has been through quite a journey and a whirlwind romance which must have helped her considerably during her cancer journey.  She has been lucky to have you along and being supportive is what carers are all about.  Please do not feel alone as this forum has some lovely people who can offer understanding.   Whilst my husband was on his cancer journey (nearly three years) I often felt as you do because he chose when and if he wanted me at specific appointments especially if he was getting results.  This was nothing to do with me personally but more that he needed to be in control of his own emotions so that he could absorb the information (he was terminally ill from diagnosis and undergoing palliative care).

    Hope the over-riding good news that she was able to share with you immediately afterwards meant that you could celebrate together.  Sometimes sufferers just need to be given some space and we have to take a step back - its not easy.  I am sure Emma is enormously grateful for your support and perhaps she can can explain why she needed to see her oncologist alone. I found it difficult to second guess my husband's feelings and we had been together for over 40yrs!  Wishing you both good luck for the future.Jules54

     

    OOPS - thought my computer had lost my first post! sorry for repeating myself!