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Caring for my dad with terminal Oesophegeal Cancer

Liss
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Hi, my dad found out mid July that he has terminal cancer of the oesophagus.  They gave him 6 months without treatment and possibly 12 with.  He decided not to have treatment.  I have relocated up to West Yorkshire to care for him during his final weeks.  I am scared and worried about it all.  He lives on his own and I am usually the only visitor he has, I stay with him from morning to early evening and then I go back to my digs to get some rest.  He hardly eats or drinks now because he is frequently sick or simply not hungry and he sleeps on and off most of the day. Even though I've asked for advice, there seems to be very little information on how this type of cancer progresses and what to expect when caring for somebody with this horrible disease.  The district nurses come out to give him a morphine injection when he is pain, usually a couple of times a week.  Does anybody or has anybody cared for somebody with this type of cancer?  Many thanks, A 

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    Hi Liss,

    Welcome to the forum. So sorry to read about your Dad's condition and his situation. I'm afraid the answer to your questions are probably "it depends", which I know is frustrating. Age, physical fitness, the state of our immune systems,  co-morbidities and (to some extent) our mental health all have an influence on how quickly things progress. 

    I'm sure your Dad had good reasons for opting not to have treatment, this is a decision we can only make for ourselves. Does he have the option, and would he be willing, to go into a hospice? At least that way he would have 24/7 support and be in an environment designed for end of life care. It isn't for all of us (my Mum was determined for her own reasons to pass away at home - which she did).

    Oesophageal cancer seems to be split two ways in how it affects people. It can grow into the gullet which it blocks and then causes problems swallowing and keeping food down. This isn't always completely bad as it causes symptoms which can lead to early detection and treatment with surgery, radiotherapy and chemo. Also stents can be put in to make swallowing easier. It can also initially grow outwards and be undetected for years until it has spread around the body (the type I have). Long term, these often eventually grow inwards and cause the same issues as the first group experience early on.

    I don't think there's too much difference in the final weeks between OC and other cancers. Pain relief becomes the main priority along with easing any anxieties our loved ones may have. Mum had District Nurses, MacMillan and Marie Curie nurses helping my Dad care for her at home, these were organised through the family GP who was very helpful in organising the logistics and particularly the pain relief which he prescribed and my Dad and the nurses administered.

    I hope this helps answer some of your questions.

    Please come back and to let us know how you're getting on, to ask more questins or just to let off steam. Many of us have been in a similar situation to yours or your Dad's - some of us have been in both situations - and can empathise with what you are going through.

    Best wishes

    Dave

     

  • Offline in reply to davek
    Hi Dave Thanks for responding. As far as I know, it has spread into his stomach glands and beyond although I am not sure where else. He is sleeping for the majority of the day and night now. He is managing to swallow soup and drinks. The anti-sickness drugs are working so he is more comfortable. Although he experiences pain, its not horrendous pain so I can take some comfort from that. Macmillan came out to see us yesterday and then called me later on to say that he possibly only as a few weeks left which I guessed looking at how much he has deteriorated during the last week. I'm just terribly sad that nothing can be done for him. I believe it's too late for a stent and he refused chemo back in July as it wasn't going to prolong his life for any significant amount of time - 6 months longer at the most. Thanks again for your reply Regards Alicia

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