Hi and welcome to Cancer Chat. Such a difficult time for all the family and emotions will be running extremely high and alldirections. It is nearly 3 years since I lost my husband and I can still remember the frustrations/anger I felt about it all and the forum gave somewhere to sound off.
Your dear Mum has a wonderful caring daughter and you, in turn, are lucky to have an understanding employer but it does not change the fact that you are being pulled in many different directions and for your own sanity could do with some back up both emotionally and physically.Caring for a loved one is an honour but very draining. I am sorry that your brother and Dad have pulled away from the situation and wonder if you are in touch with MacMillan who can support you all, not just your Mum. It is not for me to pass any sort of opinion of your Dad's behaviour but wonder if he too is feeling totally lost and unable to cope in the present apart from fearing for the future.
My husband and I used to shop together and he even on occasion preferred to do it on his own but not sure he enjoyed it!! It could possibly be that your Dad is sufferring from depression and is just not seeing the bigger picture and how let down you feel by his lack of interest. It must be very hard to understand him at the moment (I did not understand myself much when I was just having to get on with it).
I hope that you will always feel that you are doing your best in the hardest of situations and you are showing how much love there is by caring for your Mum. If you tell your Dad how you are feeling you may have to be prepared for an outpouring of early grief in that he is losing the love of his life and does not know how to deal with it. Please remember that the forum is here to listen 24/7 and I send a virtual hug your way. Jules54
I think you're right about Dad and I'm just feeling really burned out at the moment. The local hospice have sent a family support man to chat with Dad but he's just not receptive. I keep telling myself I just need to keep going and take one day at a time. It's difficult not to start panicking about all that's still to come and then, how Dad will cope when Mum is gone. In my head, I'm trying to plan something to look forward to, like a holiday in a year or so, just to move the horizon.
Today has been especially difficult as Mum is in a lot of pain and struggling to sleep. I keep telling myself, one day at a time....
Hi there ... just wanted to say, I don't think you realise just how strong and brave you are ... I bet your mum is so very proud of you, and having you by her side, walking one of the hardest journeys , holding her hand ... be kind to your heart and know even the bravest people have times when things feel overwhelming and have to accept those feelings that come over us ... if your dad seems like you said, it's probably not him, it's those feelings he's having to cope with too .. men tend to feel helpless when there is nothing they can do to make it better... so as hard as that is on you , try to think everyone copes in different ways ... I hope later, he realises just how much you helped ...
It may help to tell him , if ever he wants to talk, you'll be there to listen ... it may take pressure off a wee bit ... and you know it's o.k to tell each other your scared ... but never doubt just how amazing you are .. and we're all here to hold your hand on this path your on ... big hug chrisie xx
