I can't relate to your situation, as although my dad is in his final days, I live with my parents and my mum and sister give lots of support to my dad as well as me. 
However, it sounds like you're doing absolutely amazing and it must be tricky trying to juggle everything. I think it's natural to feel guilty in your situation (I also feel guilty about not pushing my dad to see a doctor sooner) but I really hope you see how brilliant you are for providing so much support to those around you. I'm sure your parents appreciate it and I'm also sure your children will understand. I hope you're getting support you need from your friends/family? 
 

Sending peace x 

Hi, thank you for your reply.

I know my mum appreciates everything I do, but the sad look on her face when I leave at the end of the day really gets to me.

My dad was very appreciative when he was well enough to know what I was doing. He's just sleeping now.

My sister isn't able to help out much as she has her own health issues, but she too is thankful I do what I can.

I don't know...realistically I know I can't do anymore as I'll burn out...I just end up thinking maybe I'll stay one more hour or I'll just do one more load of laundry.

I'm utterly exhausted though - this is so hard.

It sounds like it's both physically and emotionally hard ️ I think what you need to remember is that you can't pour from an empty jug. You need to look after yourself so that you can be there for your family. Would it be possible to get carers in to help out? If you have any questions about getting carers feel free to ask me as I'm a social worker for adults so will probably be able to answer any questions. 

Thank you for replying.

Dad passed away early hours of yesterday morning. We managed to get carers in for the last few days to help keep him as comfortable as possible.

I'm a bit worried how my mum is going to cope on her own. Is that something adult social services can help with? She's in a rented house at the moment and I think she'd be better off in supported living but I don't know how to go about it.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and recent passing of your dad, you sound like a strong woman. And it sounds to me like your dad has had an amazing support system around him. 
 

My mum was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour in august this year - we were told she would only have weeks to live however she's still with us almost 4 months on. I gave up my job, home and life in London to move home and be my mums primary carer. I've been with her pretty much 24/7 since mid-august and done everything from bathing her, dressing her, personal care, sleeping in bed with her to ease her each night because she's scared, cooking cleaning and everything in between. Yet I still feel carer's guilt. 
 

I think it's normal and inevitable to feel like you're not doing enough, one way or another. I'm 29 and don't have any children or a partner, I'm not working at the moment due to the situation, and have a good network of close friends for emotional support. I only have myself and my mum to focus on (although I do worry about both of my brothers) yet I still struggle. I don't think there is literally anything else I could do yet I still feel like it's not enough sometimes. I can't even imagine how you manage to do what you do for your family whilst also being a mum too. 

'We are each our own worst critic' - remember that although you may feel as though you're not doing enough, I'm sure the people around you acknowledge how amazing you're being. They will be so grateful for everything you do. 
 

Look after yourself. At the end of the day, if you're not ok then you won't be able for look after your loved ones. So that comes first.
 

Sending lots of love. 

It sounds as though you are doing everything humanly possible for your mum, she is so very lucky to have you.

I found that at times, I focused way too much on how long we had left with my dad, but towards the end it made it easier to know he would soon be at peace and no longer in pain. 

It must be very hard for you to have been preparing for the worst case of weeks, and now be so much further along and not know what to expect.

Has your mum been seen by a GP or district nurse recently?

Hi GlitterB

not sure if you remember us speaking earlier in the year but I found myself wondering about you this evening so logged on to add you as a friend so I could message you, however I've just seen this thread. I am so sorry for the loss of your lovely dad :( you are not alone and there are so many of us walking this same path. 
thinking of you xx

How lovely to hear from you; I've been wondering how you were doing.

Things got very tough for a few weeks, and my dad was determined and stubborn to the very end.

I feel ok at the moment, I obviously have wobbles but I'm just relieved he's no longer suffering.

How are you?

It's such a relief when they're not suffering anymore, I take great comfort in that and knowing it wasn't for long (of course I then feel immeasurable guilt but hey, grief is a rollercoaster!)

doing ok here thank you, just take each day as it comes and allow myself to feel whatever it is I feel that day. One of dads best friends passed away on Saturday so that's brought grief back to the forefront. 
 

be kind to yourself, you've been through so much. Make sure you take time for yourself to enjoy the little things in life, I really find that helps.

always here for you to talk to if you would like xx