My mum had a medical procedure on the 13th june to clear a blocked artery in her neck to reduce the risk of getting a future stroke. It was done under local anaesthetic but 15 minutes later in the recovery room mum told the doctors she felt funny down her left side and she then became unconscious.
They rushed her in for a bran scan and found a massive bleed on her brain. We were also told that it was inoperable and that she would die quickly. The tests to check brain activity weren't done until 6pm on the 14th june and that it when we decided to turn her life support off.
Although we knew that a brain hemorrhage had killed her, the coroner insisted on a post mortem to ensure that there had been no medical negligence during her op.
Thankfully the PM ruled out any link between the op and the brain bleed. The op had actually gone really well and we are still none the wiser why mum had suffered a bleed on that day. I guess the blockage in the vein had weakened a vessel in her brain over time.
We were told that if she hadnt had the bleed in the hospital it would have happened at home, round the shops, on the bus etc and been very traumatic.
It doesn't help with the loss but I am grateful that neither my daughter or I had to suffer finding her dead or dying at home.
Can I please be cheeky and comment on something you are being told by your family/friends?
You DO NOT have to be strong at this awful time for you or for anybody. Being 'strong' will just suppress your pain and lead to a potential breakdown in the future. I havent been strong at all. I have cried for 3 months solid in front of he gardener, the postman and in Tesco's!
My sister urged me to be strong for my 12 year old and 'try just to cry at night when she is in bed'.
What rubbish! Letting out emotions is the way to deal with grief which is natures response to trauma and loss.
I finally feel like I may be about to start turning the corner at 14 weeks and I truly believe its because I've allowed myself to cry, scream, grieve and be a wreck