Hi Jax 

I have had a really similar experience! It's such a conflicting mental situation to be in! I was given an initial 'likely' diagnosis at the end of December and have been back and forth to work and on sick leave since. The initial shock (I have two children youngest 15) rendered me useless in anything other than basic daily tasks and veered from being numb, disbelief, fear despair and crying. Unfortunately my diagnosis has taken a long time to confirm due to the difficulties accessing my tumour for biopsy. After about 7 weeks I went back to work then had to have some initial surgery so was off again. After my confirmation of the cancer diagnosis I then tried to go back too soon and felt totally unable to focus so am again on sick leave. 
My thoughts are if you are struggling (and the uncertainty is truly awful) and you're lucky enough to have a partner to support etc then take the time! The mental toll is huge and when you have children it takes all our strength to be there for them whilst managing our own feelings thoughts and fears. 
You're well-being is more important and you should do what feels right at the right time. A colleague asked me if taking time off work would feel like a weight had been lifted. If it did- then there was my answer. 
Sending hope and best wishes to you and your family. Be kind to yourself. It's a tough road to be on whatever the outcome x

I had thyroid cancer and I worked right up until the Christmas holidays. My operation was the day I was due to go back, had it not been after a holiday, I would have worked up until the day of the operation. I went to the staff party the night before I had my pre-operation appointment.

I took a month off from work after the operation and then returned.

For me, that worked. I found I tended to get stressed on Saturday evenings, but much less so when I was at work. Also of course, I had a clear diagnosis and thyroid cancer is...well, about the least worst option when it comes to cancer.

There's nothing at all wrong with taking some time off. It doesn't have to be a case of taking off permanently until your treatment. You could just take a few days off to process. Once I was diagnosed, my direct boss told me to just text if I needed a day off at any point. Maybe take a day or two off and see whether that makes you feel better or worse?

Your situation sounds incredibly stressful as you know you are dealing with something serious but you don't yet know what. I was lucky that way, in that I was told what the likely treatment would be in the same appointment I was told they found malignancies. 

Hi Jax, first of all I am so sorry you are going through this.  For some people, work is a distraction from the cancer and it helps them, but for other people, work simply adds to the enormous strain they are already under.  The uncontrollable crying and the heart racing you descibe are panic attacks you are having.  Jax, do you think that perhaps your husband  and your Mother are right and you should step back from work for a while, just so that you can gather your thoughts together and process what is happening to you?  Personally I think their advice is very good, and I wish you well Jax, Violet, xx