Hi drache it sound like you're doing ok if you're relaxed your wife should be (well it works in my case) it helps to keep occupied something she loves to do, good luck.

Billy 

P.s hopefully others will join in with good ideas. 

Hi Drache,

There’s no such thing as a normal reaction so far as a cancer diagnosis is concerned. The stereotype portrayed in the mass media is exactly that - a stereotype. “OMG, poor you - you must be devastated” seems to be a common reaction by other people. Some people often seem disappointed or disbelieving when you are sanguine about it and they start muttering about you being in denial.

Good luck

Dave

Hi, slightly wider than Drache's issue but in empathy I'm finding managing people's reactions almost harder than managing my own reactions to diagnosis/prognosis etc. I went with the 'brave face' for a few weeks but it backfired on me when I had a complete meltdown after hospital yesterday. So I think sanguine might not be a good tack to take for your own good.

Just do what comes naturally :-) 

Hi Dave.

Thanks for the reply. Yeah if come across a few of those "misery vultures". All they actually want is some gossip but tell themselves that they are good people for caring. Don't get me wrong there are people out there that to care but not as many as the other group.

Perhaps I'm cynical but I don't think so. You can tell it in their tone.

Anyway there's people on here who know the score. So if I do end up needing support I know where to come :).

Quick update though. Had my first chemo (cisplatin) today. Was slow going. Had issues with my bloods so had to wait ages to get started. Something to do with my liver. Nothing new tbh, it's in my records but for some reason they didn't have a full history. So got in at 9am but chemo didn't start until 2ish. So had my anti sickness drips and then my pre hydration drip. Then came the main attraction lol. Went simple the. However halfway through my post hydration drip I started to get a reaction. Sneezing, glassy eyed, externally hot, and facial swelling. Nurses where great. Got me sorted and switch my drip for just saline. All's calmed down now though thankfully. Thanks for reading 

Ste

Thanks for the reply.

I'm sorry about the meltdown. My wife gets them. It's hard work but worth it. As for my approach, I honestly have no choice. If never been that emotional lol. However fear not, if I need it I do have a great support system in place.

Thanks again.

Ste

Ok quick update. Day 3. Third dose of radiotherapy. Went fast and simple and I'm getting used to the mask.

However after yesterday's final coup de Grace I'm feeling crap. Tired, sick, headaches as well as other aches. Plus side I've been prescribed an epipen for just in case moments. Oh if you didn't see yesterday's update its in a reply to another poster. 

Thanks for reading.

Ste

Hi Ste 

sorry I'm not as yet getting the right flow of these posts. Technophobe with bells on here. Think it's a nice site, others were too intense for me. Glad you are getting used to mask and seemingly coping in general. It is so, so tough, but we have this site for some extra support when we need it. Good luck my friend. VPlum 

IHi D

this Ian Hazsl I am 9 month post radiotherapy for tonsil cancer h p v 16 + as well ,84% pg population has h p v in their system atbanynone time we are the unlucky ones whose immune systems have dropped for a nano second and in the Blighty popped .

inhave a blog in which my hubby has contributed as being in the other side it’s quite a way into blog but best advise he can give is tell her she’s needs some normality in her life John used to go out on a bike ride onky for 90 mins a week with a guy opposite us and he found he could relax and talk to Rob about things othervthan blooming cancer. 

He wentbthrough the why us phase we had just retired non smokers I don’t drink he was angry to start with. But we got through  we had a few words and it’s our  ruby wedding next month n we never argue Get her involved  Johns job apart from shopping cooking cleaning was to administers  my meds male a chart of when I was having them likewise when eating and drinking got harder he was in charge if monitoring and writingndown what I had or hasn’t had thatbday so Oncologist and dieticians knew what was happening  

blog is www.radioactiveraz.wordpress.com

keep in touch good luck Hazel 

ps I had issue with firstbdose of cicplatin my magnesium level were up would u believe I had been drinking smart water boughtbfrom hospital shop withnwaitnfor it added magnesium ! 

ps am back living my life riding my bike and small hill walking s there isn’t light at the end ifvthe tunnell

Hazel