Hi Brigitta, I know exactly how you are feeling im just the same. I'm 47 years old and I'm having mastectomy, lymph glands removed and part of my lung removed on Friday. Its taken me some time to try and come to terms with it. It took me a few weeks before I could say the word cancer. I'm just taking one day at a time and trying to think positive. It also helps to chat to other on here who are and have been going through the same as us.

Good luck and best wishes to you, hope it all goes well for you xx

Thank you for your response. I'm glad I'm not alone feeing like this . A reassurance that maybe I'm not going crazy I hope the op goes well for you as well! I'm trying very hard as only the doctors can help with the damage it caused to my body but im trying so hard not let cancer damage my spirit and my relationships. But half of the days it's winning. Cause I do get scared and have dark thought which make me feel isolated and lonely so then I share with my family . Then I feel like a failure cause I didn't succeed to minimise the impact and dragged them down with me with the negativ thoughts I get. I try my best . I know two people Who handed the condition with such grace. I try and try to be like them oftentimes feel like I failed. I keep trying , have better days when I succeed wish I always could

Hi Brigitta

There are no wrongs or rights with regards to how you feel after a cancer diagnosis. I was diagnosed in January this year aged 45. I've done my chemo and am due surgery mid September. It's tough. Our brilliant minds think all sorts of things. Some good,some bad. I think only people in a similar situation can ever truly understand what we go through. Please don't be so hard on yourself, it will take time to think about anything other than cancer and the what ifs, for a good while, I'm sure. The best thing I've done is to connect with people on here and also my fellow chemo buddies. No one judges because everything you think is something we've all thought, probably! You aren't crazy, you've just had to deal with something enormous. Keep chatting on here and also see if there are any support groups where you live? Xx

Also I will add, instead of thinking like a cancer patient and identifying as one in a negative way, try and think of all the kick *** women who are cancer survivors! Kylie Minogue, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Carly Simon etc. Just look them up and remind yourself that this could be you too. Be proud of getting through this, because you will. And for all the times you have a wobble, just breathe deeply, and maybe do a free meditation on YouTube. All free and all great at helping you to recentre. X

Thank you Vicky! You're right , I get what you're saying thank you!  I look into that, the local support group as well. Yes, it's true only fellow travellers on this lonely journey truly understand.  

I guess it's all a matter of how you self-identify, as is the case under most stressful situations. 
 

My pet hate is the term cancer victim - and the attitude that implies. I am not a victim of anything - if I MUST be labelled I identify as a fighter and a survivor.

Best wishes

Dave

Hello! I was diagnosed with breast cancer a month ago. I am currently sat in the cancer unit undergoing my first session of chemo rocking a funky cool cap!

I have certainly been through a rollercoaster of emotions these past few weeks but I actually feel really positive right now about what is happening. I have been really open with friends, family and workmates about my diagnosis. What has really lifted me is the amount of responses that I have had where people of share stories about their own friends and relatives who have been through the exact same thing and have come out the other side. It has really boosted me and "normalised" it in lots of ways.

Dont feel awkward about talking about it. Sometimes it is easier to post on here. I think keeping your thoughts to yourself is probably making you feel worse.

sending you a huge hug xx

Hello Brigitta,

                     l understand what you are saying.The thing is you are railing and fearful against the change.That gets you nowhere on the road to improvement, just drags you down and hampers recovery. For me l accepted change was happening ,wished that amongst all the medical issues l had no control upon that l chose the direction of mind iin how l coped. l found my warrior spirit within me, not in the yee-haw type, but quiet determination.

Ten years on from stage4 bowel cancer with spread to liver l still retain that ,but it is now stored safely in the background for future use if required. You do come back from the blip in your life,invigorated and renewed with a far greater appreciation of the life around you and heightened sense of the important things that fill it.

Yes its a life changer but its your choice and force of will to enhance that change to  work better for you in your future,focus on that and you gradually lose the anguish and need to keep revisiting the past.

Safe travel on your journey on your chosen path,

                                                                                 David

Thank you. It resonated with me. Very sound advice , thank you for sharing your experience with me.

Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately yes it's more common then one would think so. It does help to share thoughts with fellow travellers on this journey. Thank you xx