Hi,

I really feel for you. Over 20 years ago I got married and on our honeymoon my husband discovered a lump in his testicle- it was cancerous and he went through the gruelling 6-7 months chemo etc and surgery. To cut a long story short his personality changed and I couldnt really do anything about it - about 2-3 years later we had grown apart and he said he was leaving me - I thought I had been quite a good nurse but there was so much else involved with other family illnesses and deaths.

To cut a long story short - you should folow your heart - if you fell strongly about this person then stick with it - he has challenges ahead and will really appreciate you being there - but if things don't work out and you cannot stick it then don't - don't worry about what other people think - you are doing your best and you sound like a real support to him.

Please take some time to think about yourself - you need to be quite selfish as well - when I was recently diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer one of the first things I said to my partner was that if he did not think he could hack this next year then just be totally honest about it and talk to me and we'll find some solutions together. He is still here and trying his best !

Good luck with whatever happens - remember NONE of this is your fault and take one day at a time. 

Hi I think you are doing well as it is concidering you haven't been together long, just be there for him is the main thing hope things work out for you both. 

Billy 

Hi,

I know how tough this is for you - especially being new into a relationship that is then put under the strain of a cancer diagnosis. As a melanoma patient of several years I don't know how my husband copes with me & we've been married over 30 years! To be brutally honest your boyfriend doesn't probably know how to cope with both his cancer and your relationship. Patients naturally try to shield their partners from the worry and pain and they feel guilty at 'bringing' it into the relationship. Add the fact that his treatment is causing him bad side effects and hasn't worked and he's probably finding it hard just to deal with this. We patients sometimes need time alone to process what is happening and gather our thoughts so if he ever appears to be cutting you out don't be hard on yourself or him, it comes with the territory. This link may help you to work out what will help you both www.macmillan.org.uk/.../you-and-your-partner

I will also send you a friend request so that you can pm me if I can be of any help. Good luck to you both and I hope they find another treatment that is more successful,

Angie

Hello,

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my message. I'm sorry to hear you have been through a really difficult time. 

I really appreciate your advice, at the moment I'm just trying to take one day at a time. Whether it will work out or not I do have really strong feelings for him and I feel that I should stick with it. 

Thank you

Thank you Billy for your kind response 

Thank you Angie, I will pm you :)