Hi Linzi. I'm so sorry for your loss and pain. It's dreadful I know. My partner passed away two weeks ago with lung cancer which then spread. She had chemo and numerous hospital stays eventually living at home for the last few weeks of her life. She had so many palliative and night nurses helping her due to her pain and deterioration it was heart breaking. Like your father Joan lasted 14 months from diagnosis. I  understand how lonely you get when a person you love dies then the house becomes silent. Just do your best to take each day as it comes. Grieve and cry for as long as you need. That's what I'm doing. Take care.

  Hi ,thanks for your kind reply,it must be so hard for you, sorry for the loss of your lovely

 partner,you must be in bits.

My dad tried everything not one thing worked,but you always have hope things might change dont you?

I think when they go.. they take a piece of you away,its like a wave of loneliness sweeping over you,my

father died at home also, where he wanted to be and I was there holding his hand.. so its just running

 around one minute looking after them,, to nothing,,, I am struggling with but am sure things will improve

for you and for me its just picking up the pieces again, God Bless you take care of yourself. Linzi