I'm so sorry for the reason you came on this site you not alone everyone on here really understand what you going though.its good sometime just write down how you feeling or what you going though.losing someone you love is living nightmare it's so hard watching them go though cancer.its even harder watching them die there nothing you can do just be there that all we can do.some how we find the strength to keep going everyone copes differen different.my situation my mother she got bowel cancer two years now she went for check up in July they found mass she had to have more test done.they didn't know if it was on here ovary or bowel turned out to be on here bowel. We haven long been told that the cancer in here blood we was told inoperable and she haven got long.its so hard one day you acting like normal then it hits you it don't seem really some how.like I said you came to right place take care my thoughts are with you at this sad time. 

     I'm really sorry about your brother.

     I'm on the terminal side of this discussion so I can't really say that I understand it from the point of view of a concern person who deeply worries about their sick love one.

     What I can relate though is the experience that your brother had, basically me too, felt like there is nothing wrong me when I was initially diagnosed with a terminal illness. I could still jog/walk for 5 to 8 kilometers everyday without experiencing any fatigue, had a very healthy appetite, didn't lose any weight, didn't feel any pains, even my infrequent light case of haematuria stopped completely. 

     My family had started to believe that I had a benign tumor and even encouraged me find a new job. But now I can feel the cancer is spreading. I now have a large palpable lump in my abdomen, nausea, vomitting, frequent haematuria, chest pains, progressive cough, severe headaches, dizziness, seizure, flashes in my vision, fatigue, etc.

     Personally, I believe your sister-in-law is doing the right thing. Looks like she already have her priority straigthen out and is now focusing her full effort in relieving your brother's pain and giving him comfort as much as she can. I think thats very reassuring.

     As a terminal patient who had accepted my fate, I kinda feel that those love ones who are still in despair/in denial are dragging me down. You know, its like Im pretty much  ready to go on a journey, ready to go home, and a relative keeps on hiding my luggage.

     Im not saying you shouldn't grieve/feel sad or give up and lose hope, because acceptance do requires us to follow a process. But once you do reach such a point and realize the bigger picture of life, it is easier to understand these things and circumstances that are natural and are way beyond our control... at least thats how i feel.

     I sincerely hope that you will be able to find the courage and the strength and the focus that will carry you through your ordeal.

Thanks for replying Gemini, I am so sorry to hear about your mum, must be such a worry.It will be comforting for your mum to have you by her side. It is such a horrible illness and affects so many people.I don't really think you appreciate the impact something like this can have on you until you have experianced it. There are so many heart breaking stories from families and sufferers on this forum, it is hard to comprehend. My brother has amazed the doctor in that he is still able to partake in a little bit of conversation - he still has fight left iin him. My side of the family have never been one for showing emotion, hugging etc so it was a true honour today to be able to hold his hand and to know I was offering him a little bit of comfort. I know the next few days are going to be hard for the family but I just wantr my brother to be at peace now and out of pain - I know our mum will be waiting for him which really helps. Take care of yourself

Thanks for replying, I was having a dark day when I posted and your conversation really helped me. I am so sorry to hear that you are in the same situation as my brother. Right from the outset my brother accepted His fate and has never made a fuss, sounds like you are exactly the same. I think the fact that he was so "healthy" until a few weeks ago made it harder to accept - you start to believe that maybe things would be OK after all. The first time I visited him in hospital I was a mess, couldn't stop crying, but after reading your post you made me realise the impact that must have had on my brother. I made him cry on the first visit which I am really ashamed of. I visited again today and it was so different. My mind set thanks to you was in a different place, were all calm and talked - even got a laugh from him which was great. I kind of get what you mean about it being like a journey, I read once that life is like a train journey, with people getting on and off at different stops along the way, we don' t know when our stop will come so need to make the most of life whilst we can. Please take care of yourself and if you ever need someone to talk to please get in touch, my thoughts are with you

My sister passed away last night agedc40 liver cancer. Once she stopped eating she passed away rather quickly whichbim thankful for she had little pain too which is a plus also. She did suffer but not as much as I expected her too. Wishing you all the best 

Hello troffer123, 

I just saw your post and on behalf of the moderation team I just wanted to stop by and offer our condolences to you and your family on the passing of your sister.

I'm glad to hear that she wasn't in pain and you were with her at the end.

Post as much as you need to troffer and remember that we are here for you if you need us.

Our thoughts are with you at this time.

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

I feel ur pain xxx 12 months ago my brother was diagnosed with  cancer . 2 brain tumours. . He's had all the treatment and then told it hasn't worked .. there is no norepinephrine can be done.. 12 months ago the doctors where saying 18 months the most.  My brother is now in the cancer hospice care and we know it's not good.. he is rapidly get illerror as the days go by.. only yesterday the started to give him the morphine pump  and he doesn't even wake up much since. . As a family we know he hasn't got long left and it's breaking our hearts ato the though of loosing him.. 2moro we have a meeting with his care team and I personally am breading the outcome. . Love my brother so much don't know wat to do when we loose him .. xxx 

I am new to this as well. Reading these posts have helped me a lot. My sister was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in March. She has been receiving Keytruda which has stalled the lung cancer but not any of the other peripheral cancers. She is so tired. She is so thin. She wants to remain independent but that door is closing. Maybe this is a personal journey for her and I don't know how to help her. My thoughts are with all of you and thank you.  

It's been times since u posted, today we are in your position please tell me how u managed

thankyou