The middle of the night is a dreadful place when your head won't stop whirring. I didn't tell anyone else except my husband until I had my diagnosis. It is very hard I know. Only just over a week left to go, then you will know for sure either way,  then the action begins. It is quite a roller coaster ride. Hopefully you will find it is not the nasty C word. I went to doctors with pain in right, shocked to find all focus on left which was not painful at all. Diagnosed on 4 th Feb and finished radiotherapy yesterday.  Once they start the motions, they don't hang about. As you say, no point in worrying, but it's really hard not to. Fingers crossed for you xxx

 Hi there

Welcome I have only joined recently and wish I had found the site when I was first diagnosed.

Which was the 3rd of March and told I had invasive ducal breast cancer. Like you I did not sleep

Very well and as my husband died of a heart attack December 2013 was on my own at night which

I see seemed so sorry for myself. I was waiting for my appointment with my local hospital an had a 

Really bad Sunday night no sleep. Then out of the blue the hospital rang they had a cancellation

And I went in to see the surgeon when I got home I had my operation booked a lumpectomy and

Some lymph nodes removal and felt more reassured after talking to the surgeon . It's very hard

The waiting for results etc but keep in touch everyone on the site are very caring 9jean9

Hi there,

Just wanted to add my voice to that of Daisyboo & Jean.

We here all understand that this stage of the "game" is sheer hell. Your mind is going 24/7, you imagine the worst and can't think about anything else. The lack of sleep makes everything that much harder too.  Reason & sanity go out of the window.

Being referred is a good thing as you will be seen by experts who are best placed to determine if and what the issue is but unfortunately until then you are left in the dark and it is very, very difficult.

Try to distract yourself any way you can in the meantime, tell your husband you need to talk about it or maybe chat to a friend, you can certainly rant and rave to us here,we get it believe me! Just do anything that you think might help. It's ok to be scared and there's no such thing as being OTT at this point.

Take care over the next few days and all the very best. Do let us know how you get on xx

Hi Purplelily.........

The waiting is the hardest part and I am so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time.  On a purely practical level, you cant continue on just a couple of hours sleep a day and I wonder if your GP could prescribe you some sleeping tablets to help you over the next week until your hospital appointment?  Even if you decided not to take them daily but got 3 or 4 good night's sleep it would benefit you. Good luck on the 8th my friend x

Went for my hospital appointment today - had mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy and have been told it is cancer.   I have to wait until the 18th to find out the proposed treatment, but it is a 3 cm lump with another in the lymph gland.  I feel relieved in one way and as if I have been hit with a sledgehammer in another! 

The hardest thing was to go home and break news to hubby, and also to keep up normality for granddaughter who is in the middle of her exams.   I needed this at this time like a hole in the head!!    Well I suppose that is how everyone feels.....

At the moment I feel as if I am in a horrible dream and will wake up and it won't be real. And I am angry, so damned angry I could scream.  Sorry I really don't want to feel sorry for myself but I have only known for a few hours and I haven't got my head around how to cope yet.

What do I do now? How do I handle this? I feel ashamed of myself for having this awful thing and for not being stronger for my family.  Sorry..........

I am nearly 60 and now 2 1/2 years away from diagnosis.  I had a 3 cm lump with one lymp node involved.

Oh It is so difficult at first for it all to sink in, I felt scared and sometimes I could not believe it.  Mine was found by a routine mamogram.  It was very difficult telling family, but they all rallied round.

I had chemo and radiotherapy and now tamoxifen.  I am very well now and back to work full time.  I think it is best to take one step at a time, and not to read too many stories about chemo, as everyone is different and some stories may frighten you - it did me!!  Chemo is not very nice, but you get through it.  I was not too bad really. 

There are lots of good people on here to help you through every stage, and give you tips on how you cope.  

Please do not feel ashamed, I would imagine most people feel the same as you.  I certainly did.

Take care and please post on here if you need any further help or just need to talk to someone who has gone through the experience.

Thinking of you  xxx

Diane

Hi there

I'm sorry to hear your bad news. And would like to send you a big hug.

The waiting to know if it is Cancer is bad enough. But in ten days time you will be able to dicuss

Your treatment plan and have more people to talk to face to face. Can you Husband go to your

Next appointment with you? Don't be frightened to ask any questions. Because I was given a

Cancellation my Children were at work so a close friend came with notebook in hand.

You need your family and friends. We are here for you don't be sorry.! J