Hi my partner only 44 hes dying of lymphona  tcell im 30 its so scary hes had a stroke too so hes brain is so bad i didnt know till  3 weeks ago . Its happened so fast.

I'm sorry to read about your boyfriend Lonelygirl.

If your unsure if he is o.k to make decisions at this stage it may be worth either you or his parents getting in touch with his medical team to get some advice on what would be best for him at this time.

I can see you've had a reply already but hopefully other members who have supported a loved one during the latter stages of their cancer journeys will be along soon to offer their support and advice as well.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

[@Danni30x]‍ , [@Moderator Steph]‍ 
Thank you for the replies. Danni I'm sorry what you are going through. It's really hard watching our loved ones deteriorating so fast.

As I said, I had to leave yesterday, as I live and work in a city 2h30 away from him. I cried a lot because I'm afraid it's gonna be the last time I'm gonna see him. I accepted that he is gonna die, but I don't want him to die without me there. He almost doesn't react to people but I'm sure he knows when I'm there because yesterday he managed to give me a few kisses with the strength he still has...

I found out he doesn't have a "living will", here in Portugal it's the paper that says what the patient wants in terms of health procedures... So I think his parents will decide... We're trying to find some doctor to go see him, it seems that there's no one making home visits in that bloody city...

It's so sad that I'm losing bits of him little by little. I will never be able to have a deep conversation with him. :/ 

I know there are other people going through similar situations... We are not alone.
<3 Take care everybody

Hi,

My boyfriend is pretty bad... He was admitted to the hospital on Monday due to vomiting with a lot of blood. Today he was hospitalised in a more suitable room. I couldn't handle the news from the distance, he has been given "days to live" so I rushed to come to his city and spend the afternoon with him (the visit hour). 

I feel like I'm being a rock, but I feel much calmer when I'm close to him, and knowing that with the morfine he is now pain free. Everybody is visiting him, perhaps the last chance to say goodbye. I can't cry in front of other people, it's just the way I am, and his father is so depressed that he is on medication so I also feel I'm here to support his parents.

I love him so much, and I miss him (I say miss because I'm losing the way he was), I'm sleeping in his room surrounded by his stuff... I wish I could have him back all healthy and fine. But I do feel that maybe I'm repressing some feelings, perhaps keeping energy for what is yet to come although I know that this rock may come down one of these days.

Sorry for the long post.

With love, 

Lonelygirl

My boyfriend passed away on the 25th of march, this past Monday by morning. He was in the hospital with his mum and he started taking slower breaths until he finally stopped...

I don't know what to say, I might not even be feeling the real pain yet, as I am so distracted with the funeral and all the received condolences. I can't believe I will never see him again.

I got so attached to his friends and family, and I'm so afraid they will abandoned me, although they seem really fancy me too (mother's boyfriend said she would go to my wedding when I found another man...) ... I don't want to be alone again (in terms of support), I've dealt with so much by myself ... At the same time is hard looking to his brother because he is so similar, something that scares my heart.

waiting for some comforting or wise words for this moment and the feelings yet to come... 

I am so sorry for your loss lonelygirl it must be so hard for you at the moment. Our thoughts are with you and your boyfriend's family during this difficult time. I am sure you will stay in touch with those who were close to your boyfriend and it's nice you are in such good terms with his family. We also have some information on Coping with Grief which you may want to look at when you feel ready to help you deal with the coming days and months.

Our sincere condolences from the Cancer Chat team

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator