Have you been in touch with the local McMillan team - getting things like sorted out is something they do really really well,

Give them a ring now if you haven't their number is on this page

http://www.macmillan.org.uk

As to whether its terminal or not if she's to weak for surgery or chemotherapy I think you must have a good idea about the implications of that.

As for the prognosis I think some people don't want to know so oncologists don't speculate unless asked a direct question, You need to look him/her in the eye and simply directly ask what the prognosis is. Make sure your mother wants to know first though if you're asking in front of her.  

Hiya. So sorry to hear about your mother. Its terrible no ones really paying attention and helping and giving support and leading up appointments i know the frustration tell me about it. When my husband was diagnosed a few years back they really didnt care by the looks of it and i was so angry i eventually caused so much trouble with them that i made them remember me and i basically said if your not going to help us then im putting in a report about you and your department etc its not my personallity but it was the only way to get through to them. Also when my hubby was in hospital i was not told he was terminal until i loked at the paper work at the foot of his bed and saw terminal cancer patient and i hit the roof with them not telling me nor him this. anyway hope you find some way of dealing with them. Also my hubby died 3 years ago and i sadly have cancer but im doing okay still got a long time in me. Hope to see you soon-diane x