Hi there Laura. . I can imaging how hard you must be finding all this, and very confusing ... 

There are always risks in every operation... none are risk free ... to me one in ten sounds good odds, unless yours is the 1 %   ... I had a very high risk op, when l had internal bleeding after an op ... and at 3 a.m my son was called in, and I remember looking at his face, thinking I was glad he may be the last thing I'd see ... he stayed with me as l went in theatre and was the first face l saw as l came round ...

Really it's a decision only your nan can make ... it means weighing up the fors (reasons to have the op) and againsts )  what can happen without ... and your nan needs to listen to others advice, but then do whatever she decides and have your support whichever that is ... as in the end, it's her life ... 

I so hope she takes a route that helps her ... fingers crossed ... what a lovely granddaughter you are ...

Sending you a big hug ... Chrissie

Thank you so much for your reply!

Her appointment yesterday was to go on an ‘exercise bike’. It was after this that the anaesthetist went on to tell us that my grandma had been categorised as extremely high risk (simply because her heart struggled to cope with the test).

She was very honest with us and explained that alongside the risk of mortality, the operation would not prolong her life, she would most definitely need a colostomy bag and it’s unlikely that her quality of life would ever be the same.

To me it’s a lose lose situation but my grandma seems to have made her mind up that she doesn’t want to go through with the operation (she told us that she would prefer to enjoy what life she has left), so I just want some idea of what happens now. The anaesthetist couldn’t really give us any sort of timescale as she doesn’t know how fast the tumour is growing.

We have such a close relationship (I see her every day) and I just can’t bare the thought of her deteriorating. 

Hi Laura ... So sorry about outcome, but at least she won't have to go through an operation , bless her ..

I know it's really hard for them to give you a time ... As so often people live way longer or go quicker then expected. ... I'm in that situation my self, not having any more tests or treatment and what will be, will be ... Because my bones are pretty weak, etc .... This is only me, and as I say everyone is different ... But l don't want a date or timeline ... Coz I'd just sit there waiting ... And l have the most amazing granddaughter too ... My Emily, pictured ... We adore each other, so know so well that relationship ...

I just take every day as a little mirical, where I make as many lovely memories as possible ... Emily knows, Nanny's been poorly and may one day be a tiny star looking down on her ... But we find funny things to do, she stays here, and we laugh all the time ... So l know I won't waste one day ... As cancer wants us to break, it has no compasion... So every memory is like sticking two fingers up to it ...

So I'd say, walk this path with her, find out if there's anything she still wants to do ... Cry \ hug \ say all what's in your heart and laugh too ... You can make memories you heart will hold forever ... I'm still here 6 months down the road, writting to you , and feeling good... So here's to me and your Nan pushing the limits still further ... I'm sure taking this every day, and family all living in the day and not looking to far ahead, has really helped.... Sending you a big hug ... Always here if you need a chat hunny ... Chrisie xx 

Hi I Know how you feel my dads just hat the same chat yesterday . The surgeon told him he was doing the op to remove cancer and cure it .... but when my dad saw anesitist he told him its very high risk and he would have to go into an induced coma for 2 days also said it would only give him an extra year or two  after op .... dads now saying he wont have the op ..... im so gutted he wont have chemo either :(