Hi Helen,

I saw this programme and was extremely touched by it's  content. Rio Ferdinand is struggling to come to terms with the loss of his wife and the mother of his three young children.

I was awe struck by how well he was tending to his young family, being both Mum and Dad. He is obviously struggling to come to terms with his loss and to discuss this with his children. He was reluctant to seek help but was persuaded to go to a meeting of Dads who have suffered similar loss and been left to cope alone too.

I felt that he saw himself in some of these men and was able to open up a little on his first visit to this group.

He certainly found that he got much more out of attending this group than he expected to and I wouldn't be at all surprised if he continues to attend and gains more as he gets to know some of the men better.

It's a bit like the support we get on this forum, it seemed to be the first time since his wife's death that he was able to listen to the problems encountered by other Dads who have had first hand experience of a similar situation to his own.

Despite finding it difficult to talk to his children about their Mum, he is to be commended for keeping them all so neat and tidy and in doing his daughter's hair so well. It is glaringly ovvious how much he loves these children and, I hope that in the years to come he can find peace and manage to come to terms with all that life has thrown at him.

I suspect that as he begins to accept things himself he will be better able to discuss them with his children - I sincerely hope so for all their sakes.

Jolamine

Hi Helen and Jolamine,

I didnt see the program myself but I have heard and read about it.

I am a committee member of a local charity called cancervive. Its founder Paul Huggett lost not one but two wives to  breast cancer over the years, leaving him to bring up two young girls on his own. This happened some years ago when there was help for the patient but nothing much for him. I know he really struggled both mentaly and finacially as he had to give up work to bring them up, I have met both daughters and have to say he made a great job of bringing them up as they are both really nice people.

He is engaged to a lovely lady now but I feel sure watching the programe brought a lot of painful memories back for him. He has told me once in conversation, he wonders if the loss he suffered was ment to be so that he woulld start up Cancervive which is mainly desingned to help family and friends of cancer patients allthough he never turns anyone needing help away. He is a great and inspirational guy who I met through another cancer charity.

I do feel men often struggle to talk honestly and openly not just about loss they have suffered but about cancer in general. I feel they dont like asking for help.

Take care everyone, Brian.