Hi Bex 

Welcome to the forum the club nobody wants to join, 

Your free to have a rant or just talk to someone let out all your worries and stresses it really does help. 

We nearly all have had or still got and having treatment, some, have relatives with cancer snd come on the forum to ask information or to see if they can help others who are struggling, we are like a big family everyone looking out for everyone else. 

i myself am living with my uninvited guest have been since February 2016 been on palliative care since, but keeping strong and positive because I'm looking after my disabled wife she needs 24 /7 care she has Alzheimers and parkinsons plus other problems before she'd marry me i had to promise I'd look after her when she got old she's nearly 14years older than me, been together nearly 50 years now,

Every now and again my guest gives me a good bite and i fight some more I'm still fighting no way am i making it easy, 

Like you we have family and they have lives of there own and family and jobs, so sometimes feel lonely. 

Hoping others will join you soon but remember ladies always kneed their beauty sleep and make up on before anything else so could be later in the day, us men always always look beautiful or so the wife says.?? Sorry probably getting carried away, just been to check on wife and thought I'd check my phone and your message court my eye, thought I'd reply. Like i said earlier others should join later.

Keep positive and keep fighting one day at a time. 

Billy 

Hi Billy;

Thankyou for your words and welcome. You are a brilliant caring person. Caring for your wife every day and you two being together for 50 years gives me hope for the world. As you said one day at a time...

Bex

Hi Bex,

if it helps there is always someone on here who will reply if you are feeling lonely and unwell. I have been through treatment for breast cancer, masectomy, chemo and radiotherapy and although I was lucky and had a supportive partner, somehow I still felt alone and would rant on here in the middle of the night sometimes. Chemo is hard to cope with but if it's killing those cancer cells, then a must to get well. I was supposed to have 6 sessions , 3 weeks apart but could only manage 3 sessions as I was so unwell. The nurses were wonderful though and I often phoned them in the middle of night for a bit of reassurance. I'm wishing you all the best , I don't know much about your cancer but can offer a little emotional support. Take as much help as you can, you deserve it!

Silver x 

Hello Bex

We are very similar , I am also post op adjuvent Xelox for Stage 3 bowel tumour. Have just started 1st cycle and feel dreadful !! Made worse as I felt absolutely great this time last week! Am nauseous , tired, flushed , bad stomach , generally anxious & upset . Whilst I'm reminded I am a tough nut & will 'fight this' - I'm literally collaspsing on the inside and have no interest in putting on a brave face just because  it makes other people less uncomfortable !! Hopefully it'll get better for us both . Happy to chat if you need a person to rant with xx 

Hi Bex 

I'm so sorry to hear your circumstances. Unfortunately we're all becoming isolated and it's very difficult.

What you can do is phone your local council and speak to someone from adult services. They can then do an assessment and perhaps you could get carers in. I've been in the position of needing carers for personal care, practical help and meal preparation. I found it quite enlightening and enjoyed the company.

Worth a phone call maybe?

Good luck

Barb xx

Hi Silver;

I think you are right this forum can be a good outlet. Last night when I wrote my first post here it made me feel better just to focus and get the words written down knowing and hoping that someone would read them. I'm wishing you all the best and saying a big thankyou for your positive words and advice.

Bex

Hi Ssuzi; 

Good to connect with another who's in the same boat. You are absolutely right in that we need to accept what we are going through accept that at times we feel terrible and hopefuly try to learn ways of how to cope. I sent an email today to my Oncologists secretary (I rang her first to ask if this was possible) noting down a diary of all the side effects I've had each day since this cycle started and my Oncologist rang me back this afternoon with some clear medication changes she is going to make for the next cycle  (different anti sickness drug to try and prevent constipation / lower dose of steroids for a longer time / advice from her to contact macmillan for support during day). So I've learnt it is a very good idea to keep a daily diary and communicate with your Oncologist / nurses about how you are feeling. Ive learnt we should not suffer in silence. I too am happy to keep chatting with you anytime.

Yours understandingly

Bex

Hi Barb;

Thankyou this advice might come in for the future - right now I'm managing to do daily chores though it can be a struggle. There has been just one day where I felt I couldn't move out of bed. If things get any worse I will do that; 

Thanks alot

Bex

Hi bex 

One thing we did learn council don't rush, we had occupational therapist in she said she would get things moving it wasn't until my wife had to go in hospital about two months later carer's turned up as we were getting out the car, at home hospital had chased it up and arranged it all,.

So try and make arrangements before hand so all you have to do is say what needs doing rather than have to wait for things to get put in motion, we have an emergency no to ring to get ours sorted in case i have a really bad do or I'm in an accident or something with all brens needs written down, hopefully won't need it but better safe than sorry. 

Take care keep positive thoughts and actions keep fighting. 

Billy x