Hi Brigitta,

I can understand your feelings on this - I think sometimes it is their way of trying to be supportive, and sometimes also without really knowing what they feel they should say, but it of course is not always the easiest for the individual.

It is often better to reach out to others in a better position of understanding, such as others on this forum. You'll get different types of support from different people, depending on their experience and their connection to you. I hope that this forum can continue to offer support to you and a safe space to write things down and reach out to others.

In the meantime I hope you get the results soon, and we're always here if you need it.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

You don't sound at all like an ungrateful person. While your family and friends are no doubt trying to be supportive (and probably just feel helpless and want to do something), what they are saying is problematic and hurtful.

Of course not being positive won't mean it's your fault you have cancer or make a negative outcome more likely. And telling people how to react comes across as kind of dismissive and controlling, though I am sure they don't mean it that way. They probably want to help and feel helpless and unable to do anything about the cancer, so feel they can at least make you feel better (even though nobody has really been made to feel better by being told to "be positive") or perhaps subconsciously, they want to feel better about it themselves by seeing you positive. Everybody likes the "(s)he was so brave and positive through his awful experience" stories. 

It is fine to feel what you feel and you don't owe anybody positivity.

Thank you for understanding! Makes me feel better :) I keep trying anyway , sometimes I don't feel positive like that day. The thing is my family is into this 'law of attraction' theory. You know the book 'secret' .. and I said , I've seen a baby pushed into the mri machine. The baby can't even think and has no understanding of illness or anything . So did the baby attract it too? That's my answer to that . Also I had a surgery 2 weeks ago the cells they are examining were removed 2 weeks ago and on the way so how my thinking now could change those cells.. but still I must be positive. I'm more like living in the moment what will be will be. I can't even have the energy for stress and anxiety now. 

Brigitte 

I just had the oncotyoe scire back , I found that was the worst wait by far , worse than original diagnosis that I was waiting how the plan was gunna work , mine came back Friday no chemo required I had a massive party I'm sure yours will be the same as I read your post and it's identical to mine it's the unknown xx 

Hello Laraj

mine came back as well no chemo required. Thanks God! Xx

Oh I'm so so so pleased isn't it the best feeling ever I'm so happy for you x 

how you doing anyway ? 

I was crying with happiness when I got the news. But struggling emotionally now. I'm Probably tuned into cancer stories now .. I feel like it's all around me even I had a lucky escape . I feel so sad for others who were not as fortunate . Also as added bonus now im also paranoid . I have lower back pain , now worried it's cancer .. I just find it difficult to be upbeat I've seen / heard so much tragical cancer stories .it's like the rose tinted glasses fell off and seeing this whole other reality where these awful things happen . Im trying to find ways to

bounce back . Have you felt like this ? I'm reading books and spoke with Macmillan .

I have just added you as a friend is this ok ? 

Sure where , like here ? 
 

On the top of the home page it should show a red mark with a message showing a freind request so you can private  message x