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Awaiting Colonoscopy-Terrified

2 Feb 2023 18:05

Hi All

I have always had a "bad tummy", always passed small rabbit like stool however normal a lot of the time too. First started getting bleeding at age 20, always put down to piles. I do normally have the piles symptoms with it.

About 8 or 9 years ago I had my first bout of bad illness, I got excrutiating stomach cramps, worst pain I have ever had, I would then get diarrhea for a couple of visits to the toilet and then it would just be blood, this would last from 24-48 hours then go and I would  go back to normal. I have had this about once a year almost every year since. I have been in the hospital over night a couple of times, I have had blood tests everytime, rectal exams (finger), poked and prodded but only ever 1 abdominal xray. Other times I just had to wait it out at home while on phone to NHS 111.I feel fine between cramps, I get a cramp, go to the toilet, pass blood, pain subsides until the next one which could be 2 minites or an hour.

My most recent episode was just before Christmas, I called doc to get codeine as they usually give me that to calm it down. The doc asked me to come in and said I needed referred to the hospital. I had a blood test a few days later which showed I was aneamic and I have just had a positive FIT which isn't suprising as I went there for bleeding but now I am on the two week pathway and I am terrified beyond words. At the moment I have discomfort in my anus and episodes of itching and burning.

My episode in 2021 ended with doctor feeling my stomach with was stillpainful from the inflammation and a finger rectal exam where she said she felt a lump and it would be a pile and gave me suppositories. Nothing happened after that symptom wise so never followed up. Now I can't stop thinking what if this lump was something else.

I have health anxiety and generalised anxiety and I have been doing the wong thing and googling and everything says bowel cancer however nothing is specific to my symptoms which have epsodes of severity followed by for lack of a better word...remission.

I have a 6 year old boy who is my world, I am obsessed with him and I can't help thinking I am not going to see him grow up and we are so close that I know this would affect him terriby.

I don't know why I am writing this, just need to get it out as my mum and husband keep telling me to stop googling and there is nothing to worry about until there is something to worry about however I can think of nothing else. I am beside myself and feel sick to the stomach


Awaiting Colonoscopy-Terrified

3 Feb 2023 17:57 in response to MrsS18

Hello MrsS18

I'm sorry to hear that you've been dealing with ongoing health problems for such a long time.

Whilst it's understandable that you're feeling worried your Mum and husband are right - Googling for information will not give you answers but will simply just feed into your anxieties. There could be any number of causes for the problems that you've been experiencing so please try to avoid searching for information. 

Hopefully you won't have to wait too long for your appointment and the team will be able to give you some reassurance about your symptoms. In the meantime, I'd recommend having a look at this information on the NHS website about managing health anxiety. it has some useful tips and advice that may help you to manage your concerns whilst you're waiting for news. 

If you'd like to chat things through with one of our nurses you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm. I'm sure they'll be happy to offer any advice and support they can. 

I do hope that you have some answers soon and that things begin to improve. 

Best wishes, 
Cancer Chat moderator 

Awaiting Colonoscopy-Terrified

3 Feb 2023 22:17 in response to Moderator Jenn

Thank you for the reply, you have no idea how comforting it is for someone to say it could be any number of causes. The logical side of my brain knows this but my panic just takes over. I have been trying to hide it but obviously not very well as everyone has been asking why im so down. I Just keep going over the scenario of a doctor telling me I have cancer and there is nothing they can do. I lost my uncle to bowel cancer and it was fast from diagnoses to death so this sticks with me however his symptoms were more suttle and slow.

Sat and cried to my husband tonight, felt a bit better to let it out .

I appreciate the link, I will check that out as need to brush up on my coping skills. 


Thank you again for taking the time to reply 


Awaiting Colonoscopy-Terrified

3 Feb 2023 22:56 in response to MrsS18

Hi sorry to hear that your having so much trouble. My last colonoscopy showed ovarian cysts, l had symptoms of bowel changes, weight loss and left sided pain. I was worried like you pre scan but relieved afterwards. 
l hope you have your colonoscopy soon and your results are reassuring, try not to google as they only give worst cases.  never simple easily treatable causes. 
take care