Hi, what an awful few years you have had.   You sound like you are holding it all together although I doubt that is really the case.  This rotten disease messes with our physical and mental wellbeing,. It is really hard when your children arent adults yet, it makes it so hard.

I do hope that you get an appointment to see your oncologist soon and then hopefully get some answers.  

Yes, this is a wonderful site, there are so many people travelling this journey with you and completely understand your feelings. You will never be alone on here - there will always be someone who will help.  Keep your faith, God is never to blame.  Sending my very best wishes to you and please keep coming back to talk to us. x

Hi Pauline

Thanks for the support. Yes you are right I am just holding it together. Each day is a struggle and well I'm tired. That's why I came on here, looking for help. I was really surprised by people's support. Knowing your not alone help's. Give's me strength.

I don't blame God, I did for a second but he answered and well here I am.  

Wonderful site is an under statement. Last week I was doing well till I had a set back and feeling miserable I came on here looked at Hazel's avatar and laughed and laughed and laughed.  It made my day.

I get to see the oncologist next Wednesday not looking forward to it but I need to know how bad it is.  I was stonger phsicaly and mentaly last time round now I'm not so strong phsicaly or mentaly.The cancer has taken it's toll and this time I'm a lot worse than before.  I thought I was in pain last time but now the pain is unbelievable.  The doctor has offered me endone for the pain but I refuse to take it. I still have things to do and the panadeine forte only takes the edge of it and makes me sick if I take too much.

Sorry here I go whinging again but it help's.

Thanks for your support

Ah, you have every right to whinge, most of us do.  Pain and helplessness aren't something many of us can cope with.  Please let us know how you get on with the oncologist and can I just send my best wishes to you.

Hi DJ ...... never worry about having a whinge - it's good for you!

You really must get that pain under control, life will be easier when you are not suffering pain 24/7.  It will take a while - maybe months - my GP, palliative care team and myself have been experimenting with medications since around October to try and alleviate my pain and the associated side effects of the pain relief medication.  It is great to have people helping and to feel better, so please persevere with that DJ.

I hope next Weds goes well and will keep my eye on your posts to see how you get on. I am so glad that you have found support on the forum. X

Hi Davey,

I had to do a quick conversion there - my old brain is hard-wired in stones and miles. 
Crikey, that's just 8.6 stones - try to eat as best as you can. Have you tried home made power shakes? Full fat milk, bananas and peanut butter blitzed in a blender is one of my favourites when I can't keep food down. To parphrase Paul Hogan "It tastes OK but you can survive on it" :-) . 

So glad you found this site and I'm glad you're finding both support and something to make you smile. 

The pain sounds cr@p. I've no experience of Endone but I have read that it can be quite addictive, so I can understand why you might want to avoid it unless and until you really have to.

All the best
Dave

Hi everybody and thank you for your support.

I will let everyone know how I get on at the oncologist. The 24th.

I have tried the banana peanut butter milk drink I didnt like it, tasted like bush oyster's (my body didnt like it). I have stayed off the scales losing a kilo in just over a week was scary. I don't do Google searches on my illness anymore. I will wait and see what the oncologist says. Best advice I read thanks Maxx.

The last couple of weeks has been a roller coaster ride of emotion's.  Good bad and scary. But i'm a lot better since I was lead to this site. 

Now I hoping to get some sleep but it's hard to close my eye's I can see my Mum so young so pretty so happy standing there waiting for me with open arms and that scare's me.  I got 5 hours sleep yesterday that was from 3 am till 8 am now it's *** me it's 8am I had better go lie down I don't want my son to know I have been up all night.  

I keep lieing to him about how bad it is or how much pain I am in I keep telling him it's just another speed bump I will get over it but lately it has been hard to hide it he keeps watching me. He thinks I can't see him but I can.  

Whinging again hopefully that stops soon

Thanks Everybody especially Hazel. for your kind words and support

I will keep you posted

Your friend from down under

Dave

Thanks, Dave!  Sorry for the delay, have only just seen your last post on this thread, so am joining it so I get notifications from now on. 

Take care, Hazel x

Hi Dave,

Sorry you didn't like my power shake recipe - loved the bush oysters analogy -  if all else fails, try chocolate?! :-)

Your roller-coaster of emotions description sounds so familiar. Like any roller-coaster ride, you can't get off it, even when you want to. 

Insomnia can be a major problem with everyone in this position. After two years of suffering it I finally talked with my GP about it. I'm now on a low dose of anti-depressants which also have a sedative effect - just enough to get me past the pre-sleep stage where all my worst fears run through my head and prevent me from falling asleep. 

How old is your son? It's always difficult knowing just how much to tell them and when, even when they are adults as mine are. Even young kids can be pretty perceptive and can sometime work out for themselves what's going on.

Finally - whinge away ... that's partly what we're all here for!

Cheers
Dave