Hello.

My story so far....

In November 2018 mum finally visited the GP as a lump just in front of her right ear was starting to get painful.  She was very quickly referred to the ENT clinic and following a biopsy an appointment was made for removal of a number of tumours.  For reasons that are still being formally investigated, she found herself in early January being given a terminal cancer diagnosis, with the tumours having moved from the salivary glands to her lungs and spleen.

So far, since January mum has had 2 weeks of radiotherapy to her salivary glands to reduce the pain of the growths pressing on her nerves.  Although this was successful, the side effects of extreme burns on her toungue, gums and throat were difficult for her to deal with.

Mum started chemotherapy (both intravenous and tablets) at the end of March .  The tablets made her ill and we ended up in hospital.  

Not 24 hours after discharge from this mum had a big seizure and had to return to hospital and is now on seizure drugs and steroids.  She finished 5 sessions of whole head radiotherapy on Wednesday.  The doctors and nurses involved in mums treatment are truly wonderful.

Prior to the appearance of tumours in the brain, mum had a prognosis of 9-12 months, since then this has been reduced from 3-6 months, with maybe 2 added extra due to radiotherapy .

My struggle is that I feel defeated already!  I know it’s not my life, but I’m frustrated with my mum for not accepting the facts.  She is absolutely insistent that she will survive this.  She is therefore sitting it out and waiting till she is better befor picking up on life again.

I am frustrated that mum think she she has all the time in the world....I want to stop work and ‘make memories’ but she’s insisting that i return to work!  If if try and get therbto think about a ‘bucket list’ that I can help her achieve, it falls on deaf ears, or at worse, I’m accused of wishing her ill.

Shes always been so independent and she will NOT ask for help!  She is devastated that she can’t drive anymore.

I don’t want to go back to work (I’m so fortunate that I can take a career break if needed), I couldn’t possibly concentrate anyway....and TBH feel rejected...