Hello Deeann; this must  be very difficult for you and I am sorry your father is ill.  I know very little about autism and very much hope that you have sources of support who can give you advice.    I know from the internet that there is help available but feel you will already be well-versed in these organisations.  Do take advice from the experts.  If you feel a bit lost you can try ringing MacMillan Cancer Support who seem to have a store  of information about all manner of subjects (Freefone 0808 808 0000 Mon-Fri 9am-8pm).  You need to look after yourself also as this is going to be a hard time for you so take whatever support you can.  Please do come back here if we can help at all or you just want to vent your feelings.  And I hope you will be able to tell us that you have found some source of support to help with telling your children.  Best wishes.  Annie

Hi Deeann,

A warm welcome to Cancer Chat.

I am so sorry to hear about your father’s diagnosis. Sadly, we have lost many family members to cancer. I have always told my children at the time. Children have big ears and, no matter how you try to hide it from them, they quickly detect when something is wrong. I don’t know what ages your sons are or how severe their autism is.

If you go to Hot Cancer Topics on the list at the side of this page, you will find a post from one of our moderators, Helen.  This is about how to tell children about cancer. Try to keep what you tell them age appropriate. A young child doesn’t need chapter and verse, just a simple explanation will do.

Do you have any support with the autism? If you are connected to any autism connected group, it might be worth asking advice from them before you say anything to the children. If you are not affiliated to any such group, why not ask your GP for advice, as he will know your children and the best way of breaking the sad news to them.

I hope that you don’t have too long to wait for your father’s appointment. Please let us know how he gets on. We are always here for you whenever you want to chat.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx