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Re: Anticipatory Grief

2 Oct 2016 20:38 in response to Weston63

Thankyou, just hearing from someone who knows what it is like is helpful, my goodness life can be hard cant it? At least your husband had the love and support from you to the end, thats so precious x

Re: Anticipatory Grief

2 Oct 2016 22:14 in response to vickyd

Hi, it'll be a year on 24th October. It's got easier in some ways but still so hard all the same. I went through so many emotions and really struggled. Week 5 was the worst for me, I'm a really strong person with a very can do attitude, however when my dad died he died in my arms bleeding, I gave him CPR but couldn't save him! This was really hard to deal with as I couldn't save him no matter what I done, the girl who believes she can do anything. Physically I suffered broken heart syndrome, I had high blood pressure and was not coping. This resolved a couple of months in as the stress eased. Now 11 months in the bit that I really struggle with is the quickness of it all, I had no time to get used to what was going to happen. It doesn't play on my mind how he died which was awful. It's just that quickness. I spent a lot of time looking for a letter from him asking me to look after my mum. I think if we'd had longer more things would of been sorted and more things said. My dad hadn't been 100% all year, he hid the seriousness of how unwell he was and didn't go to the doctors till a few weeks before he passed. I now take the positives out of the situation, my dad lived a full life as possible till very close to passing. He wouldn't of wanted us all moping and fussing around him. I have to respect the route he chose and make peace with myself or I will torture myself further. All that said I miss him terribly, he was my best friend, father and neighbour all in one. x

Re: Anticipatory Grief

6 Oct 2016 11:26 in response to vickyd

Hi I'm new on here I just came across you post I hope you don't mind me answering I only want to say I know how you feeling I'm going though it with my mother she got bowel cancer she been fighting cancer for two years she went for check up in July this year they found mass didn't know if it on her bowel or ovary she had test back last week it was on her bowel the hospital phoned her told her she got see cancer Doctor my mother thought she going to have treatment instead they told her it was inoperable we didn't know what was going on we was all shocked can't even explain how we felt my mother went back to the hospital Tuesday and was told the cancer in her blood we don't know how long she got we all in bits I'm like you no one can tell you how to feel and how to cope until it happen to you I'm fed up of people telling me I should be strong how can you be strong if someone you love is going to dye we trying to keep things as normally as possible it's hard I cry when I'm on my own because I don't want to upset my mother so we all trying to enjoye being with my mother as much as possible do the things she likes doing I'm forcing on this when the time do come it's going to be hard but I will deal with that when it comes what I'm trying to say spent as much time with you mum as possible do the things you love doing try not to be to upset make the most of the time you got left with you mum what ever you mum want to do try and do it don't put it off hope you all be ok thinking of you it so hard when it you mother 

Re: Anticipatory Grief

6 Oct 2016 16:15 in response to vickyd
Hello Vicki I went tho similar last year my mother went down hill v quickly from secondary breast cancer spread to brain organs and bones my heart goes out to my sweet . It has got to be the worst thing in life to see your rock your mother go down hill you feel like each day you lose more of them and along side lose ur self too it's a living night mare . All I can say is try to hold on to your well mother in your mind your real mum not the one cancer is so viciously taking away from you . Try to be strong for her sweet . It's a nightmare you don't feel as though it is real you can't understand why they just can't make her better ud give any thing to take it away . My main fault was I couldn't acept what was happening you need to do this and stack any good moment that you can and be with ur mum not the cancer . All my best wishes to you at this time of hell you take care of you hugs kim x

Re: Anticipatory Grief

9 Oct 2016 20:51 in response to Michelle1978

Hi Vicki, your post struck a cord with me because I too am finding week 5 very hard and like you I'm a very strong person with an i can do this attitude. I was having bad days but coping reasonably well but this week I'm just falling apart all the time, I feel I just can't get it together and I'm never going to be happy without John. It makes me feel better to see you went through this period also and it's normal as far as anything about this journey in normal. You have given me hope for the future and I wish you  a continuing recovery. Love Sandra. X

Re: Anticipatory Grief

3 Mar 2017 09:53 in response to vickyd
Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer (Glioblastoma) about 3 weeks ago now. I'm struggling so much and cannot sleep, eat or relax at all. How is your mum now? Also if she does have Glioblastoma, look into Optune Therapy. It is not covered by the NHS but all Glioblastoma patients in Germany receive this treatment after chemo and radiotherapy. You can recieve funding help as it is expensive.. Wishing you all the strength in the world as i know it feels completely unbearable. Xxx

Re: Anticipatory Grief

17 Dec 2017 22:48 in response to devotedwife
HI my husband has stage 4 bowel that has gone to his lungs . He's been battling it 3 years , I'm so scared of losing him he's only 49 he's my life . You are right it's a living hell