Hi there ...

I think you've been let down totally by the "system" no one should be left to do all that without a care plan in up and running .. and information on where to get help ... 

No wonder your still not over the trauma you all went through .. are you here in G B ... as that's hopefully very rare here .. to be given terminal diagnosis with no medication sorted ... 

I think you need councilling now to get past this .. to talk about it all , get it off your mind , then deal with that heartache of loosing your mum ... my heart goes out to you .. Chrissie  

Hi wow you realy had a bad time .we were same seems like neglegence to me i would contact one of those solicitors that deal with neglegance see what they say . The trouble is its proving it the police should have been interviewing dr .its its possible that dr considerd it worse to give chemo .my partner had first chemo monday friday massive stroke and died of sepsis early sunday morning so you could say chemo did that but she had so many othere problems plus two types of cancer to me it was devistating but on reflextion it realy was better as she went quick rather than a few months paralzed and in pain ime not looking for sympathy that boats sailed .just as an example but best to get legal help look up free ones see what they say i dont know where you live but it realy is a post code lottery and macmillen arnt all angles but most are to late now but you could write a letter to McMillan may give you a bit of peace of mind and help otheres we where lucky in a way we come from doncaster the towns not the best but they still have the old caring type attitude . Back to you now time to get yourself and your sister in a better place have you had any bereavment counciling it can realy help as every week you get to talk to someone that understands how loss can effect people and a friendly face and being able to ask questions realy helps you can get stuck in grief i did all these things joined a bereavement group . And ime sure it helped me along so please try it i eead posts from people who are realy stuck in grief and i feel such empathy for them as ive lost mum and dad and all my uncles and aunts and my partner so ime no stranger to grief you can ring your local hospice spk to head counciler there the experts at this as they deal with it every day in my case i could go as ong as i wanted i think we have so many questions when we loose a loved one at least they can answer some of them from experiance not what they have been taught in a classroom best wishs and hopw you can get some closure on this you and your sister realy were terrific with your mum just take one day at a time try not to think to much into cancer you cant its to unpredictable

Thankyou xx

Thankyou , am so sorry about your loss . I tried counselling they said I'm full of anger . They wanted me to try anger management  . They said if I got rid of my anger then I will grieve properly . But I refused anger management . It just not for me . I'm in Sheffield . I believe it was pneumonia that took my mum not the cancer , I have had pneumonia myself so I knew she had it . One night I had to call a doctor out she stopped breathing in her sleep . I shook her   To get her breathing again . Doctor prescribed amoxicillin said she had a chest infection . I argued that it was pneumonia .  I begged for oxygen as she kept going blue around her mouth . They gave me a nebuliser nothing else . They totally neglected her . She died 3 days after .  She was working up to 28 days before she died . Doctor even said to my sister she should have lived for months . That was after he black mailed my sister into us not asking questions for him to sign her death certificate . My mum deserved better than way they treated her x

I went through the anger to i still get a bit . Sometimes a bit of anger can help as i said try contacting a solicitor that does no win know fee .and see what they say . Having a good vent on here helps to you keep on posting it gets it out of your system . Did you go to hospice for counciling or was it the gp one i was ranting and all sorts they never said i needed anger management what do they expect you to be its part of the grieving process . The other counciling you get someone whos got it from a book . The hospice from experiance but to refuse help its only hurting you you have to stick at counciling as its flipping painful at first but as the weeks go bye you get a repour with counciler .cant suggest anything else hope you can overcome your anger a get closure but you dont sound angry to me maybe because its the medical professionals and councilors are part of it so you cant relate to them i understand that to i hated everyone at the hospital and drs that let my liz down but its subsided you can go onto google reviews and give the drs etc a scathing review that help me just getting it out on the public domain . Paul

Counselling was through doctor , I went to him for answers I said my sister agreed not to ask you any questions but I didn't . I need answers I needed him to admit they let her and us down . I got upset and ranted & raved at him. Ended up a blubbering mess . He prescribed me tablets that went down the loo , and booked me counselling with a lady . Who was nice but I told her same I needed answers she just wouldn't listen wanted me to talk about how I felt about my loss . I ended up losing it and stomping about swearing at her . Then she said I needed anger management . That I was to irate . I don't want to go down solicitor route as I don't want their cash . I just don't want this to happen to anyone else .  

I'm so sorry about your liz , you had an awful time too . Bless you & her . And thankyou for listening to me rx

Your wellcome sorry your suffering keep talking thoe try the solicitors they might not be able to do much or they may do a lot at least ruffle drs feathers you'll never get dr to admit anything but maybe they can .

Unfortunately questions do often lead to an autopsy, with indefinitely postponed funeral, been there and often it doesn't help at all.

There are often several more causes of death that will be listed and they just make things worse to be honest as its very impersonal.   Pneumonia would just be  probably just one on the list.  The GP may have been letting you know what he would have to do once you start the questions, as you are in a state of distress at thast stage and want answers, but often do not want to hold up the funeral or go down the inquest route.  I wish I had had this advice before I questioned care.  Once the autopsy triggers then thats it you cant stop it or retract your questions - I tried.

Sorry its not the answer you want but I feel for your anger at losing your mum, and hope that you may be able to look back at some stage in the future and be relieved that you did not go down the autopsy and inquest route.

Ye ive heard you get six sessions and its rubbarb and thats it try the hospice but up to you cant co any harm may do you good