Hi [@Marsano7]‍ 

I too am finding it harder now than when I was diagnosed, I just took it in my stride when I was told I had Cancer, it was like OK then... I had surgery which I actually now regret, because of the pain I am left with. I am 46 my daughter is about to turn 24.

I was diagnosed in August 2020, so all these months later I am feeling at my lowest. You just seem to be forever waiting, I know in August I will be going in to be checked and waiting for that is annoying, and then a year later to be checked again. Once your on this rollercoaster your on it! You don't realise the turmoil it puts you in to begin with, but months later when you realise that your still thinking about it worrying about it and wondering whether your going to have it again, that it just hits you, your life is different.

Hi alot of people on the forum call it the new normal, after what alot of us have been through we know the old normal has gone for good because of cancer and treatment,so we think of one day at a time as normal.

Near time for checkup alot of the thoughts and feelings come back more and you never really get rid of those thoughts its just a question of keeping busy and concentration on other things.

Hope you can get your thoughts relaxed and think of other things.

Best wishes for your future.

Take care keep safe.

Billy