After treatment

Hello

I was diagnosed with breast cancer , had mastectomy surgery with reconstruction. I cried tears of joy when I found that I won't need chemo. So I'm on route to recovery.

 

however , I'm feeling down now. And it's not because of body image. I have no issues with how the reconstructed breast looks like, accepted. Quite amazed actually by what they can do, better than expected.

I'm feeling down cause I must be tuned into 'cancer stories' 

like it's all around me and heard so many sad and tragic stories. Even though I'm ok physically. I feel like there is this whole other world of illnesses filled with sadness I wasn't aware of . And it makes it hard for me now to see life in a positive way. Is this normal? 
 

I guess my anxiety doesn't help either , experienced lower back pain for a few days . Guess, what I'm thinking .. maybe I have ovarian cancer ... it's like now I diagnose every pain i. My body as potential cancer. Is this normal ?!

 

I should be happy that surgery  went well and I was happy. But then I got to think about all the others and I'm finding it difficult to accept that this the world we live in . Where this disease can destroy families and lives . How to overcome this depressing point of view ? Please if you have any advise on this share with me. I'm struggling to bounce back to positivity. Xx

  • Hi Brigitta,

    It's good to hear of your positives. I'm sure the feelings you describe are very common, and once you're aware of the difficulties people are experiencing, then it is natural to feel more empathy and perhaps sadness about this.

    Likewise, the worries of any new symptoms or similar may continue to be tough to deal with. With this side of things, it may help to jot things down if ever you're worried about something. You can use this to keep track of things, and also to get your worries down on paper, which often helps.

    It is cliched, but try to be present and to focus on the positives as much as you can.

    Hopefully you'll get further replies from others here, particularly if they have similar experience to share.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi

    I recently posted something similar!  My partner had cancer caught at screening + it's (hopefully) all removed, no spread, no need for chemo. Now just monitoring. We are obviously relieved and thankful so, like you, why am I not dancing a jig? I find I am fearful and convince myself every pain, change, etc is this thing come again!  I even paid for a test myself as I became fixated that peri  menopausal symptoms were sinister. 
    Like you I feel it's everywhere - TV, adverts, magazines - you name it. I'm sure it always has been, but now we're hyper aware.  The only way I can describe it is that it steals your peace of mind + carefree attitude.  Although, I guess it also made us less bothered about the small stuff and more focused on people we love. I'm also so aware of how much a small word, a text or something means, so I'll make sure to acknowledge and be mindful to other people's situation as you just never know what horrible thing they are dealing with.

    Anyway, I've no idea if this is 'normal', but I think it's something you're not prepared for and maybe just another way that this thing changes you deeply.

    I hope you continue to be well and, in time anxieties become less intense.  Xx

  • Hi when you put, no idea if this is normal, i just had to reply. 

    Yes it is normal, alot call it new normal  ,things do settle down to the new normal but the thought is still there. 

    Billy