Hi 2me,

 I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and, on both occasions (different surgeons), I was told that it was likely to be cancer. I was also told this twice with other scares, which had a better outcome. I don't believe that anyone is told to expect bad news, unless the surgeon expects you to get bad news. The fact is that they cannot always be certain until the results of a biopsy are known. If this is the case, some surgeons do give us a warning, which gives us time to prepare for the diagnosis.

It is still be a terrible shock when you're told the bad news, so you might find it easier to have your husband with you at the time. Even if he only remembers one snippet of information, chances are that's one more than you would remember on your own. You do need support on this journey and you are as well to include your husband as you travel the road. Besides, cancer doesn't only affect us. It impinges heavily on the lives of our loved ones too.

I hope and pray that all goes well for you tomorrow and, that your outcome is better than expected.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

Thank you for the very wise words and I'll read them again.  I couldn't figure out if the mild shaking when I left the clinic last week was shock or cold and decided a mixture of the two.

You may well be right that he needs come in with me.  Taking it from your perspective (which is giving me clarity) I think he may need to hear it from them more than from me.

It's our tenth anniversary today.  I'd rather be in my shoes than his.

Thanks again and I'll see what tomorrow brings, just like everyday.

Hi 2me,

A Very Happy Anniversary, although I'm sure that you'd much rather be celbrating it in a different way. I initially blocked my hubby out. I felt that my diagnosis was for me to deal with and not to worry my family. I soon found out that this was the worst thing I could do. My hubby was hurt that I didn't include him in everything and it was much easier for him to hear everything first hand, instead of my version when I arrived home.

I eventually made two identical lists of questions prior to every appointment and gave my hubby one. He then wrote down the answers as I was asking the questions. It is a known fact that we all forget most of what is said at an appointment before we leave the hospital grounds. I  also found that he was very helpful in drawing up the lists of questions, as he often thought of different questions than me.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you tomorrow.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I had investigations both for a cyst on my thyroid and more recently for some symptoms that could be rectal cancer. In both cases, I was pretty much told it was unlikely to be cancer. In the latter case, I was told I was low risk and that I would have to be "the unluckiest person in the world," for it to be cancer. In the former case, I was told "I think you are fine" and "nodules are common, most are benign, but of course, we have to test them for cancer."

However, while they were completely correct about the rectal symptoms, which turned out to be hemorrhoids (possibly with some stress from the wait), as we all expected, the thyroid did turn out to be cancer, so their expectations are not always accurate. It takes the results to know for sure.

Also, I am in Ireland, under a very different system, so things may be different here.

Best of luck and I hope you get good news.

Just out....triple neg and spread. Chat l8r x 

Hi 2me,

I am so sorry to hear this. Have they said where it has spread to and what treatment is proposed? How are you feeling at the moment? Stupid question, as I'm pretty sure that I know, It will take some time for this to sink in and for you to accept it.

Will chat when you're feeling more up to it.

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

I'm so glad I asked the question the other night becuase without your words I'd not have taken Peter with me for the results and he needed to hear them. They'd prepared me well and thankfully I didn't feel shock. 

I don't know if your saw the other posts I'd written.  I've been writing them as a diary to myself just to keep track.  Long story short is I've had problems since September 2020.  They'd taken MRIs but didn't catch this.  They're now in the process of getting those scans together, which I'll be interested to hear about.

So, next Thursday, scans to assess spread with results in 24 hours.  Chemo to start the following week.  Then op, then radiotherapy.  I've had a bit of a read about triple neg and it says fat may fuel it and if that's so, I've been eating right since last April. They're putting me through the system as fast as they can.

Had a super anniversary besides this, thank you :) We had a good walk on our favourite beaches with plenty of smiles.  I'm in a good place in life to deal with this, which has not always been the case, so I'm very lucky.  There's nothing bad that can't be worse.

I hope you're doing good on your journey.  Your words were so helpful to me.  Wishing you the very, very best x

Hi 2me,

I am so glad to hear that you took Peter with you and, that you are happy that you did this. It is good that you didn't feel shock, but you are still likely to have spells of denial, 'why me?' and anger that this has come to your door. It does become easier to deal with once you know exactly what is happening and embark on that journey.

It will indeed be interesting to compare your previour MRIs to see why this wasn't picked up sooner. I sincerely hope that the scans next week don't show too much spread. I'm glad to see that your chemo is starting so quickly and that your diet has been good since last April - all positives for you.

It is great to hear that you had a super anniversary, despite having this hanging over you. It is even better to hear that you are in a good place to deal with this. Your wise word "there's nothing bad that can't be worse" really struck a chord with me - they are so true!

I haven't read your other posts yet, but I shall do. In the meantime, I sincerely hope that al goes as well as it possibly can for you and, I am always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx