Hello Nick.  I am so sorry that life has dealt you such a poor hand at this moment.  Of course your mum has to know about your brother's diagnosis.  I don't know the details of your mum's condition but if you are concerned then you may wish to speak with her GP about the situation before discussing it with her.  You are really caring for two patients and you also need to look after yourself by getting as much support as you can. 

The main thing that spring to mind is to keep things as calm as possible.  Not easy!  I worry about you because you are worrying about two people.  I don't know if you have other siblings on whom you can offload your anxieties but hope there is someone whom you can tell of your hopes and fears. 

I think once your mum knows the situation then you and your brother can feel more like you are getting the situation under control (or as much as it can be).

Please keep posting here (if you wish and feel that it helps you).

Thank you for your post my mum knows about my brother but she is so stressed out and is trying to stay strong for him. My concern is she is trying to do it all herself, and won't talk to anyone but myself which is fine but she must have things that she feels she cannot say to me

Sorry, I misread your post on that point.  This is not uncommon; I have known the situation where family members are doing their own thing , going round and round in their own little circles and not sharing their hopes and fears.   It is heartbreaking when family members do this; fears multiply when you keep them inside yourself.  I don't know if you have read any of the other sections of this website; if you look at Coping with Cancer: subtitle Caring for the Carer you may find it helpful.  Also there are lots of posts on this forum from family members of cancer sufferers.  You might like to talk to some of them.  And also there are organisations such as MacMillan Cancer Support (Freefone 0808 080 0000) who have a wealth of experience and can be very helpful to anyone who either has cancer or has a loved one with cancer.  Do take care of yourself too.

Thank you for your kind comments, I am going to try and get my involved in this site, I feel that maybe she will respond to this better because it is less personal and she may be more willing to share. But again thank you its good to know there is support out there

Good thinking.  I

If at any point there is a problem with you both posting you can send me a friend application and then send  me a private message.  But I hope there are  no problems.  Just something to bear in mind.