Sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis, but Stage 2 is curable and won't necessarily shorten her life span.

I can't advise you, not knowing your mum, but I can give you my perspective as a mother who has cancer (stage 3 when discovered).  

I was diagnosed 5 months ago and I have had major surgery and numerous tests before and since then. I have told only my closest family (husband, grown-up children and my siblings) and 2 or 3 close friends.  I haven't started chemo or other treatment which may make it obvious (sudden baldness would be a bit of a give away!)  It feels like quite a private thing.  Also, I dont want people worrying, being upset or, God forbid, feeling sorry for me.

I don't really discuss it with my children; I don't share my worries, though I do let them know when any decisions are made.  I know they support and love me and of course I value that and l love them dearly.  I just don't want my life to be defined by cancer.  I prefer to have 'normal' conversations when we talk.  There's enough time spent on all the appointments, the therapies and the angst, without having it as the major topic of conversation.  It's just too depressing.

I understand your need to process this situation as a family and it must be terribly difficult to do it without all the information.  That said, I don't think you can get her to open up if she is not ready.  You will have to be patient and reassure her (without mentioning cancer) that if she needs any help such as transport or shopping, you'll be there for her.

There is a lot of helpful information on the CRUK website about stages of breast cancer and I believe treatment tends to follow a fairly well-defined path, so you can find out most of the answers to your medical questions here.  www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../breast-cancer

Hi there, I'm sorry for your mum and what you are all going through. My mum has stage 4 cancer and Im her carer. I've found with my mum, that ignorance is bliss and she chooses to let my aunties deal with any developments unless it involves treatment decisions. She has a lot of anxiety about her cancer to the point that mum and her consultant have an agreement that she can leave the room and hand over to my aunties who go with her if things come up that could be distressing to hear.  She prefers to keep conversations normal. She wants to have as much normalcy and control as possible and not feel like the cancer is in control. Combined with trying to protect us kids. I feel so lucky to be able to care for her though, because she eventually started to open up to me about her symptoms or anything worrying her and I fear I would never have had that, I think she would have played it down like she does with my siblings and other family. She's not upfront with other family when they ask how she is but she's now really good at reporting any changes and symptoms so they can get her straight in and handle it. My mum is always in the driving seat. It will always be mum who instigates any conversations about her cancer I just actively listen, support and reassure her. She didn't open up straight away though, this happened over considerable time from being there every day, which I know isn't possible for everyone. My mum really appreciates the practical support aswell as emotional support. She can't do the things she able to do before like household chores and shopping so having me take that pressure off her helps massively. 

Please msg me anytime xx