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Advice needed about mixed feelings

1 Jan 2019 13:52

Hi.  
I’ve just had my third biopsy on my breat in 6 years, I found another lump in my breast.   Yes I know you will all think how lucky I am, but.  My family have suffered from cancer in the last 10 years.  2 aunts died 10 years ago from various cancers, during this time my mum was diagnosed with cancer, we had 6 weeks notice before she died.  2 years later my uncle died of cancer,  a year later one of my cousins died. Yes from cancer, then my younger brother was diagnosed, he suffered for 5 years, op after op removing cancer from different parts of his body, then he died, 6 months later another cousin died from cancer.  A year later another aunt died from cancer, at the moment, I have 2 cousins and an uncle going through chemo and radio trying to fight, fingers crossed.  I am happily married, but feel really alone, I have a daughter, but do not feel the need to worry her until I get my results.  I am feeling scared but positive at the same time, cry over the stupidest.  Can anyone advise me on why I have missed feelings. 
Thanks. Polly 

Advice needed about mixed feelings

1 Jan 2019 15:02 in response to Polly58

You are totally normal, of course you feel anxious...and what a family history! When did you have the biopsy? As you know it's the waiting for results bit that tears you up....your mind will lurk in those dark places, it's difficult to pull yourself out of them. But what I can tell you is that your emotion are 100% normal....up and down...

 This forum has been a god send, I dip in and out ( mainly for reassurance) I was diagnosed with breast cancer just before Christmas....what a shock! Dr google just made me cross eyed, so I stay well clear now, then this forum somehow came to my attention and it's a great leveller for me....

let us know how you get on? Xxxxx

 

Advice needed about mixed feelings

1 Jan 2019 16:17 in response to Marlyn

Hi marlyn

thank you for responding.   I am sorry to hear your diagnosis, my thought are with you.  

had my most recent biopsy yesterday, I get the results in 11 days time.  

Glad to know my feelings are normal, I had started to wonder if I was overreacting.   I know breast cancer has a high success rate, but it’s still scary.   My family history is not great regarding cancer, it’s my daughter I worry about, as she has cancer on my side and her fathers side of the family.  

My boss is going through exactly the same as I am, she is 4 days ahead of me, we try and talk but both put on a brave face for the other one.  

Polly xxx

 

Advice needed about mixed feelings

1 Jan 2019 18:22 in response to Polly58

Your not overreacting, cancer is as scary as it comes.....hold tight, not too long to wait, lets us know the results? Xxxx

Advice needed about mixed feelings

1 Jan 2019 19:03 in response to Polly58

 

Hi Polly,

Wow, what a family history! I too have lost both parents, several relatives and close friends to cancer and I have had 2 boouts of breast cancer in the past 9 years.

Waiting for results is one of the most anxious times of our entire cancer journeys. There are so many unknowns. You will find that your emotions are all over the place. Crying is also perfectly normal. Don't worry too much about this, as shedding those tears is a good stress reliever. I too have a daughter and can appreciate your concern for her. If you do have cancer, you can do a test to see if she is likely to get cancer.

I am sorry to her about your boss too. You will both be able to support one another.

I hope that your results don't show up anything untoward.

Please let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Advice needed about mixed feelings

1 Jan 2019 20:06 in response to Marlyn

Thank you for your support, yes it’s a very scary time xxx

Advice needed about mixed feelings

1 Jan 2019 20:13 in response to Jolamine

Hi Jolamine

sorry to hear about your last 2 bouts of cancer.  Hopefully you will get the good results this time.  

Thank you for your support, as I am finding the unknown very scary.   At the moment I am struggling, but I know I will have to be strong.regardless of the results, trying to stay positive 

Polly xxx

Advice needed about mixed feelings

2 Jan 2019 01:25 in response to Polly58

 

Hi Polly,

The unknown is always scary, but I'm glad that you are managing to keep positive too. You know what this wretched disease entails and, the only way to beat it is to stay positive. Someone has to turn this family record around and I sincerely hope that you are the one to do it.

I am hoping and praying that your results are benign.

Don't forget to let us know the results.


Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Advice needed about mixed feelings

2 Jan 2019 12:09 in response to Jolamine

Hi Jolamine

I agree anything unknown is scary.  I was thinking last night about this nasty disease, as is normal these days, I thought to myself  ‘breast cancer is really treatable and survival rate is high, so I’ve decided to try and look at this like a bad bout of flu, Millions of people get it, and most survive with treatment.

im hoping obviously that I get a good result and I’m going to be the one in my family to stop our family suffering from this disease.   

Saying all of this makes me feel positive, but the next second I’m a crying wreck, which I find annoying, as I’m the sort of person who stays strong, ie:  when my mum passed away, I work full makeup to her cremation, so I couldn’t cry and be strong for everyone else.  

Fingers crossed for you results Jolamine, you’ve already been through enough.  

Thinking of you 

Polly xx

 

Advice needed about mixed feelings

2 Jan 2019 15:00 in response to Polly58

 

Hi Polly,

We tend to compare what is happening to us to what happened to our relatives in the past. One thing that I can assure you of is that treatment has come a long way since they left us.

My mum died 21 years ago and I have been battling this for 9 years. I can honestly say that the surgery , treatment and after care that I have received bears absolutely no resemblance to that which mum received.  Our friends at Cancer Research and elsewhere are constantly striving to improve our lot and, they are doing a sterling job.

I hope that you can keep hold of your positivity, although, like most of us, you will still have the occasional wobble. Don't worry about this. It's like riding a horse. If you fall off, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get straight back in the saddle again.

I forgot to mention that it is always a good idea to take someone with you to all of your appointments, particularly those where you expect to get results. It is also worth making a list of any questions you have for your consultany before each appointment.

I sincerely hope that you are the first member of the family to buck the trend.

Thinking of you.

Jolamine xx

 

Advice needed about mixed feelings

2 Jan 2019 20:59 in response to Jolamine

Hi Jolamine

I agree treatment has come a long way.  

My husband is coming with me, but I think I’d rather be alone, but I know I’d be silly doing that and my husband wouldn’t let me.   I went with my mum and stepfather to gets mums results, realised that she couldn’t here what anyone was saying, due to the shock.   

You mentioned asking questions,  I haven’t even thought of that.  From what I’ve read, I know I’ll have to have more tests depending on my results, Ive tried to read as much as I can, like most people will have done.   

Kind thoughts

Polly xx

 

Advice needed about mixed feelings

2 Jan 2019 23:25 in response to Polly58

 

Hi Polly,

I'm glad that your hubby is going with you. You may not have that many questions to start with, but these will develop as you get results back and start to discuss the way forwad.

I'll be looking out for your results and will say a little prayer for you.

Kind resuts,

Jolamine xx

Advice needed about mixed feelings

4 Jan 2019 17:15 in response to Jolamine

Hi Jolamine

sorry about keep asking questions.   My boss whom I mentioned earlier is going through the waiting, the same as me.  He appt is on Monday.  She missed a call from the hospital today, she called back and left a message,  I tried to explain that, last time I got a call giving me the all clear.  Am I right in believing that they wouldn’t give bad news over the phone, unless it was urgent.  

Best wishes 

Polly xx

Advice needed about mixed feelings

4 Jan 2019 17:24 in response to Polly58

Couldn't resist butting in here ( sorry) but when I received a call asking me to go in, I did ask if she already knew my results and she said no, but even if she did she couldn't discuss over the phone..... Not sure if different healthcare providers have different rules? 

Sorry you are going through this agonising time, jolamine has defo helped soothe some of my worries......xxxx

Advice needed about mixed feelings

4 Jan 2019 17:35 in response to Marlyn

Thank you Marlyn

my boss is ment to be getting her results at her appt on Monday,  I was going on my past history, surely if they needed her to go in they would have tried a couple of times to call her, not just the one call.  I have been praying for her and visa versa.   

Best wishes

Polly xx