Cancer Research UK on Google+ Cancer Research UK on Facebook Cancer Research UK on Twitter

Let's beat cancer sooner

Advice for me

17 Jul 2017 07:59

Hi there my name is Debbie I recently lost my father to a brain tumour which I supported him through. I'm getting married next year and I'm worried sick that my mother in law to be has secondery brain cancer due to chain smoking. She has all the symptoms of lung cancer and she has been told she has lesions all over her brain.. basically she said there's nothing they can do for her and it's just lesions not cancer. Can anybody help with advice.. is she keeping brain cancer from us.

Kind regards 


Re: Advice for me

19 Jul 2017 00:31 in response to Debbs


Hi Debbs,

Welcome to the forum.

My sincere sympathy on the recent loss of your father. This must have been a harrowing experience for you? I nursed my Mum for 11 years with breast cancer and then with secondary cancer for the final year. By this time it had spread to her liver, lungs, brain and bones. It was heartbreaking to see her decline so quickly.

Now that you have your wedding to look forward to it seems awful that you face another tough time with your future mother-in-law. I presume that she has already been to hospital to see abot this? People react to a cancer diagnosis in different ways.. Some of us rush around trying to ensure that all our affairs are in order whilst others just stick their heads in the sand and remain in denial. Does she have any other family or is your fiance the only sibling she has? Does she attend a clinic regularly?

I am not a medic so cannot answer your question. I would have thought that lesions do refer to cancer. Perhaps you could contact the nurses on this site, as they have the experience to answer your question? You can either contact them by posting on the 'Ask the Nurses' section of this site, or you can phone them freephone. They are very helpful.

 Many of us with cancer would advise a patient to always take someone with them to their appointments. Another handy thing to do is to draw up a list of questons for her consultant. If she gives a copy of this to her companion so that he/she can write down any answers while she is talking to her care team. If attending on our own, we often forget to ask pertinent questions and only recall a small proportion of the consultant's replies.

It sounds as if she has attended her appointments on her own up to now. Can you persuade her to take someone with her? This helps to support her and it also keeps you in the loop in respect of where she is along her cancer journey.

I do hope that I am wrong and that there is nothing sinister for you to worry about. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. There is always someone here if you want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx