Advice after losing a partner through cancer

although I am a cancer survivor and help a lot of people on here who have gone, going through, or have similar symptoms to myself, I now find myself coming back to this site seeking advice.

I work collegue of mine has just lost his partner of 41 years after a 12 year battle with bone cancer, she battled through until Boxing day.

I am aware that when i was diagnosed a lot of my male friends just did not know how to talk to me so didn't, now 14 months out of treatment, they treat me as if nothing happened .. and to be honest i prefer it that way.... cancer does not define who i am

However during my treatment it was nice to hear from people, even if they talked total rubbish.

Although I can offer words of support to this person, its nothing like talking to someone who has been through and come out the other side.

So I will try and get this guy to come on here and chat, but in the absence of that, if anyone has any advice for me to pass on I would be most grateful

Vatch

  • Hi Vatch

    My hubby died a year ago this coming Sunday and we had been together for nearly 43 years (married 37). My husband's terminal illness of three years meant I had known what was to be but when it actually happend this site was such a worthy support and is why I still feel I 'belong' here.

    How to be there for your work colleague is, I think, a fine line between caring and 'normality'.  I returned to work after one month (had wanted to return earlier but GP was insistant) though I dropped in beforehand to see everyone and let them know I could talk about hubby's passing.  I hope other 'blokes' may be along to respond to share their views.  When my friend's husband was widowed after his wife's 23 year illness with breast cancer we chatted a lot and he needed understanding but also a social outlet. Sometimes it's the practical things you need help with that perhaps your partner always did and its definitely a learning curve.  If you have a good work relationship with your colleague long may that continue and just let him know if he feels like a chat you are happy to lend an ear. 

    Happy New Year to you and your family Vatch.  Regards Jules