Together we will beat cancer


A very frightened partner

16 Jan 2018 19:47

Good evening everybody,

My name is Ste,I am 54 years of age and I live in Bury,Lancs.

I have been engaged to my partner for the last 8 years and I love her so much it hurts.

So,our life was wonderful,we both work,have a nice house and six beautiful daughters between us. Like everybody I would imagine being married previously and having kids life can be tough but because we have found each other now our kids all love each other and have encompassed our lives.

Sorry for going on so much. Anyway,We have had plans to rent out our house and move to France to be with my partners parents who live there and got a lovely tenant on the 29/11/17. 

Then disaster, after routine blood tests followed by various scans and hospital consultations we are now facing stage 3 ovarian cancer with lymph node problems, all in the space of six weeks.

We are awaiting surgery and chemo very soon in Manchester however I am so sorry for saying this but I yes I cannot cope . I have found the love of my life and this happens. 

I hope and pray that my partner will be fine and the doctors have said it can be curative surgery but I just don't know. 

Anyway, love to everyone and I hope to talk to you soon.

lots of love ste x

Re: A very frightened partner

16 Jan 2018 21:52 in response to ramps21
Hi, Ste,just thought would say a little something to you, I do not have the same as your lovely lady,but five years ago I had breast cancer then after five years was given all clear but now have cancer of bone marrow but I am still here large as life but it was a different story at the beginning always fearing the worst of the unknown ahead ,but you will both cope and find the strength to get through this even if plans have to go on hold at the moment.keep positive and send lots of love to you,your good lady and all your family (remember you are not alone)xx

Re: A very frightened partner

16 Jan 2018 22:13 in response to jipster

Hello and thank you for such comforting and beautiful words.

Always fearing the unknown like you said is so scary and unnerving and although I am desparately trying to be positive it is so difficult but I am sure you understand.

I look at my girls face and watch her googling info and then self diagnosing which makes it worse.

How are you now if you don't mind me asking please? I hope you are in a good place and you are not alone, 

lots of love Ste & Jules xx

Re: A very frightened partner

16 Jan 2018 22:31 in response to ramps21

Hi,Ste and Jules,yes I am in a good place now,I have to see my consultant every three months now,it was every two weeks at first so that's good I have three injections every week which district nurse does for me, it's not curable but controllable,that's good enough for me, I am not alone ,I am seventy and have a lovely husband and my son lives in London and visits often, I am happy but would not like to go back to that dark place five years ago,oh nearly forgot I have rescue dog buddy who we love dearly,please tell jules not google,I did and I then suffered depression and anxiety which I am still trying to control.If you would like to speak again please do,and I really do believe this is just a hiccup that's sent to us all at sometime,but remember it's how we deal with it that counts,I will keep you all in my thoughts and please just speak to me anytime even if it's just to rant about this bloody cancer,much love to you all,keep in touch Chris xx


Re: A very frightened partner

18 Jan 2018 15:58 in response to jipster

Hello again Chris,

sorry for my delay in replying to yourself. 

You sound a very strong and positive person and having a strong family around is a massive bonus for you.

We are going to the hospital tomorrow for a pre-op assessment so will hopefully know more tomorrow.

Once again thank you for your kind words.Good luck with your treatment,keep in touch,

lots of love Ste & Jules xx

Re: A very frightened partner

18 Jan 2018 18:19 in response to ramps21
Hi Ste and Jules,Thankyou for reply,I am not really a strong person as this cancer thingy caused me to have major anxiety and depression,then I realised it will NOT win,I will.I wish you both all the luck for tomorrow let me know if you can how you went on,I will be thinking of you both lots of love Chris xx

Re: A very frightened partner

18 Jan 2018 19:24 in response to jipster

Ah Chris thank you again for thinking of us. 

I understand the anxiety and depression entirely as I have had to get some pills off the doc for anxiety and sleeping. It's truly awful.How did your husband cope with all this please?

I am physically fit & strong and thought I had the mental strength but this has taught me that I am weak,very weak. 

I will of course let you know as soon as we have been tomorrow. God bless, you are a beautiful person.

love Ste & Jules xx

Re: A very frightened partner

18 Jan 2018 20:44 in response to ramps21

Hello Ste. Hope you don't me joining in with a few words.  People here talk about breaking the whole thing down into manageable chunks - as opposed to contemplating a fast forward with awful results.Concentrate on the next thing that will happen, in your fiancee's case this will be her surgery and chemo.  So don't go any further forward than that for now.

You also need to take care of yourself in order to help your lovely lady.  I don't know how much support you are getting from your family and friends but it might help you to ring MacMillan Cancer Support (Freefone 0808 808 0000) who I understand are very knowledgeable and helpful to friends and family of people who have been diagnosed with cancer.  Then you will always have someone to chat to if you are having a little crisis.  And keep talking to the good people on this website so you don't get yourself into a bad state.  Best wishes.


Re: A very frightened partner

18 Jan 2018 21:53 in response to ramps21

Hi Ste and Jules, I honestly don,t know how hubby has coped with me and mood swings,he was also carer for father in law who died aged 100 two years ago,but he's has coped he said we are in this together and will take each step at a time,he also had to have shoulder and hip replacement meanwhile.Anyway enough of me and my woes ,just step bravely in tomorrow and you will both be in my thoughts,god bless love Chris xx

Re: A very frightened partner

18 Jan 2018 22:00 in response to jipster

Hi forgot to say I am from Stockport but now live in Skipton so remember us northerners are made of stern stuff,so we mustn,t let the side down much love take care Chris   Xx


Re: A very frightened partner

20 Jan 2018 21:18 in response to jipster

Hi Ste and Jules,may I ask how you both are Chris xx

Re: A very frightened partner

23 Jan 2018 22:04 in response to jipster
Hi Ste and Jules, if you read this just to let you know I am thinking about you both and am concerned I have not heard from you,you do not need to reply but you know I am thinking about both of you,hope all is as ok as can be xx

Re: A very frightened partner

8 Feb 2018 13:29 in response to jipster
Hi Ste and Jules,just to let you know you both are still in my thoughts love from Chris x

Re: A very frightened partner

4 Mar 2018 19:14 in response to jipster

Hi Chris,You are a wonderful beautiful person.I am sorry I haven't been in touch recently as lots of things have happened recently.

Jules had more bad news before her op on the 15th Feb. The dreaded stuff had spread to her lymph up near the aeorta so the op was very complicated and long. 

However jules had 5 days in hospital so has been home now for 17 days. She is doing ok although very tired and her spirits are pretty good. She is just focusing on moving to France which we can't wait for.

Hopefully next week we will have the follow up appointment with the consultant to determine what goes on next. 

They have told us that Jules will need chemo but we don't know much more at the moment.

On a personal level I'm still in panic mode,and haven't really come to terms with all this but I'm just hoping and praying that the consultation goes better than well.

Once again Chris thank you for your thoughts. I hope you and your family are well and you are keeping well? I promise to keep in touch this time. P.S. Skipton is a beautiful place,

lots of love Ste xxx

Re: A very frightened partner

4 Mar 2018 19:18 in response to Annieliz

Hi annieliz,

thank you for your kind and beautiful words.

Yes, McMillan have been very helpful with lots of great advice.

I have posted an update on my Jules further down.

May I ask you how are you feeling now please? 

Lots of love Ste xxx