Well your get lots of support on here ... l think like you with your friend, so many people worry they will say the wrong thing ... so forgive them ... we need to be a more caring place, like we find right here .. it's a shame some have to be touched by cancer to know how important a hug and a kind word really mean ..

I'm so lucky, all my family talk all the time about my mum and dad and it will be 30 years for mum this year ... all our little ones know how wonderfull she and dad was ... we brought her along our journey through life ... it's when no one talks about them, they get left behind ... 

So let's all try and talk and share more, like we do here .. and slowly , it just may catch on ... so any time you want to talk about your mum, you put it down here ... and I'm sending you that hug you want ... 

Chrissie

Hi sarha yes it makes us feel like our partners mums etc were not important when to us they are .like you sometimes i feel like i was less than sympathetic because i didnt know how .i felt for rhem .thats why i allways suggest counciling to people because they dont try and change the subject like others do after a while but we know how important your mum was because we know how tou feel  and we do sympathise i know your father inlaw wasnt to good and xmass has been a bad time for you as its first time for you and me . I get rhe same its like liz didnt exsist sometimes but she does to me so try not to let it get to you people just havnt got a clue or are just rubbish ime glad xmas is over best wishs paul

Thank you so much Chrissie, that means a lot to me. You are very lucky to have lots of people around to talk about your mum. I don't want my mum to be forgotten, and I feel like when I talk about her it does keep her alive somehow. 

Thank you Paul. It's true, people want to change the subject very quickly, and my heart sinks a little bit each time. It feels like it would be easier for everyone if I just didn't talk about my mum anymore to anyone, but that is just wrong. I need to keep talking about her, because it helps me work through my grief.

Christmas actually went very well. My boyfriends mum and step dad came over from England and spent a week with us. That was really nice. They were very good to me when my mum passed, they sent flowers right away. They didn't want to talk about my mum with me though.  I know it's not because they don't care, it's just hard to know what to say. I can't blame anyone, and I am not even angry at anyone. I'm just feeling a bit blue that whenever I talk about my mum - and not even about the bad stuff - anything at all, the subject gets changed quickly. But I do have many friends who have experienced losing a parent, so I know they know how I feel. We are just not able to communicate our pains very well to each other. I guess it's too intimate to try and get that personal, even with close friends? I agree about the counselling, they are paid to listen and definitely won't change the subject. I will look into finding someone soon. I will need help moving forward, as there is now a huge void left where I used to have my mum - visiting her, talking to her on the phone, and just helping her out. A part of my identity as being the helpful daughter caring for her elderly mother is gone. 

Yes i understand till i lost liz and came on here i never realised the bond a mum and daughter have together but do now . So try some counciling if theres a bereavment group try that .i know you said you pretty much delt with the loss of your mum yourself which must have been hard but with the wierd stuff that happend to me i beleive they keep there eye on us loves a very powerfull thing its its amazing what it can do so glad xmas wasnt to bad for you . Lets hope 2019 is a better year for you i think times a great healer if you work at it if i start talking to my friend pete he does exactly the same but i say eyup i want to talk about liz then he does because like many they realy think they are helping by not talking but i tell them now regards paul

*hugs*

Hi,

I understand where you're coming from. When my mom was diagnosed there was an outpouring of love and support and now 11 months in, no one is really checking in with us or asking about her condition. It makes me feel bad too. I want to extend my condolences to you and tell you that I'm truly sorry for your loss. Sending you a virtual hug.

Sincerely,

Northern