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1 month to live

4 Dec 2017 16:55

My grandma has just been told she has about a month to live. She was only told, maybe 2 weeks ago, that she even has skin cancer and now she has a month. This will be her last Christmas I suppose. 

My grandma is a second mother to me, I lived with her on and off when I was a child & for the past 5 years she has lived with me in our house. She has been such a constant figure, I have seen her practically every single day of my life. Words cannot explain how much she means to me and how much i depend on her. I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m only 22, there is so much I wanted her to be a part of. 

How do you say goodbye in a month? How do you come to terms with not being able to see and hug and laugh and cry with one of the people you love the most in the world? I just feel completely numb.

I know everyone dies, I know my experience is nothing special. And yet I just don’t know how to process everything that’s going on. 

Re: 1 month to live

4 Dec 2017 18:39 in response to Izzysqb

I am so sorry for what you have to go through. My situation was one where my dad was taken to A&E on October 22nd (no previous diagnosis or anythin, just a pain in the leg) and he was diagnoses with ternmial cancer 5 days after and then died on the 31st October 2017. 

All i can say, is relive all the good times with your grandmother. Make her laugh and happy. Tell her all the thigs you wanted to say, thibngs that ever bothered you or things that made you super happy. Just talk to her as often as you can and all what you want to say will come out of you. 

This is will be the hardest thing you have to do, accept that she is dying and that there is nothing you can do about it.This helped me (but my situation was and is different from yours) .  All that matters now, is spending all the time that you could with her in her last days. Take one minute at a time, you still time, so make the best of it. God be with you and your family. 

Re: 1 month to live

4 Dec 2017 19:33 in response to Izzysqb
Hi, sorry about your devastating news. When it’s so shocking it is so very hard to come to terms with, you just have no time. My dad went into hospital with clot on the lung and next minute the drs were going on at me about the large mass on his pancreas which was also in his stomach, liver and lung. He passed away last week, 5 weeks after being told this shocking news. We didn’t have time to do fun things with my dad as he became too poorly very fast. I feel cheated from that chance. I can’t begin to think this will ever be ok, to talk about him without streams of tears. I feel for you and understand the pain x

Re: 1 month to live

4 Dec 2017 20:08 in response to Jasinda1982

Thank you so much for your kind words, it has brought me some comfort x

Re: 1 month to live

4 Dec 2017 20:09 in response to Jasinda1982

I really appreciate your kind words, it has made me feel so much less alone x

Re: 1 month to live

4 Dec 2017 20:14 in response to millsybubs

I really appreciate your kind words, it has made me feel so much less alone x

Re: 1 month to live

4 Dec 2017 21:34 in response to Izzysqb

I'm.so sad to read your post . Tell your grandma you love her , laugh with her , make memories , tell her everything you want her to know ..your hopes and dreams . If she's prepared to talk about things, discuss her wishes . Your memories of her will live on in your heart and your head ..  

My children's dad died in June ( my ex husband) and there Are so many things i wished I'd had chance to.discuss . 

Sending you my very best wishes. 

Re: 1 month to live

4 Dec 2017 22:22 in response to Rbeau

Thank you so much for your kind words, I feel so much less alone x

Re: 1 month to live

4 Dec 2017 22:47 in response to Izzysqb

You are not alone at all. I have never posted before tonight but got great comfort from reading others experiences. All you can do is your best, and make what you can out of the time. Have no regrets and show her your love.