Together we will beat cancer


Worried sick

16 Apr 2018 11:43

I visited the surgery on Friday and have my appointment at the hospital.  I so scared I can’t breathe.  I am bleeding after 8 years of being menopausal and had painful sex.  I have a painful back - but had MRI scan to check it out so hoping it’s not related.  I can’t eat, I can’t Sleep, I can’t think - I just don’t know what to do to come myself down.  I like many of you on here - this is all very knew and I just need someone to talk to. I posted before but may be not in the right place.  My husband keeps telling me to be positive but it’s so hard - I just want to cry all the time.  I know it doesn’t help - but I don’t know how to control my emotions.

Re: Worried sick

16 Apr 2018 19:01 in response to Queserasera


Sorry to hear you're going through such a worrying time.

Have you had the results of your MRI scan? That should enable your medical team to have a good idea of what is (and more importantly what isn't) causing your symptoms. I'm not a doctor or anything, or even a woman, but I know from family and friends whose symptoms were similar to yours that there is a wide range of conditions which could be causing them. 

Avoid Google if humanly possible, as everyone soon self-diagnosis themselves with everything from bubonic plague to psychopathy. 

Best wishes



Re: Worried sick

16 Apr 2018 21:27 in response to davek

In 2005 I was diagnosed with HIV. I thought I'd just been handed a death-sentence... my ears were ringing, my mind was racing, I couldn't take in anything I was being told and I didn't know what questions to ask - It was like being hit by a truck. My long-term relationship fell apart immediately, because obviously it's a different kind of diagnosis to cancer. I told my boss and promptly lost my job, after that I went into self destruct mode. Months of total recklessness. The short version is that one evening, after watching the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen to this day, and drinking a half-bottle of vodka. Drunk and high, I drove my car into a tree at high speed... and lived, barely a scratch!

The next day was beautifully sunny, and I sat by my pond. I tried to remember all the things I still had, and it turned out to add up to more than I thought!

I'm not entirely sure I know where I'm going with this post, but when I got my cancer diagnosis, which is far more serious than the HIV, it felt like I'd been there before... if you know what I mean. Keep calm, take things one day/step at a time. The massive bonus is that - you will know, you can do something about it. Let the knowledge empower you. You will be in the position in which you need to be in.


Re: Worried sick

17 Apr 2018 07:48 in response to davek

Hello Dave

My MRI was down to degenitive erosion - I am just now thinking I could have missed the signs for something more serious - but I think it’s just coincidence and I am reading to much into it.

I am trying to focus on the other more positive issues that it can be - but it is really hard for the mind not to wonder to the most life threatening.

I never knew what fear Really felt like until having to experience such health challenges and my heart and soul goes out to everyone who posts on here - it has been such a good way to express my feelings with those that truly understand.  I can only hope and pray that the news is positive as can be.  


Re: Worried sick

17 Apr 2018 18:44 in response to Queserasera

Hi again,

I just wondered whether the MRI had shown any sign of cancer? We get a few people on here whose cancer was found by accident whilst having a scan for something else. My own was found during an endoscopy for a suspected peptic ulcer. 

Good luck!


Re: Worried sick

17 Apr 2018 18:56 in response to AdiBee

Hi Adi,

It is amazing how much a HIV prognosis has changed over the past twenty years. I just hope a similar step change happens with Cancer over the next twenty years. 

You are right, one day at a time is the only way to go. Never give up - it isn't over until the BMI challenged person sings!