I visited the surgery on Friday and have my appointment at the hospital. I so scared I can’t breathe. I am bleeding after 8 years of being menopausal and had painful sex. I have a painful back - but had MRI scan to check it out so hoping it’s not related. I can’t eat, I can’t Sleep, I can’t think - I just don’t know what to do to come myself down. I like many of you on here - this is all very knew and I just need someone to talk to. I posted before but may be not in the right place. My husband keeps telling me to be positive but it’s so hard - I just want to cry all the time. I know it doesn’t help - but I don’t know how to control my emotions.
Sorry to hear you're going through such a worrying time.
Have you had the results of your MRI scan? That should enable your medical team to have a good idea of what is (and more importantly what isn't) causing your symptoms. I'm not a doctor or anything, or even a woman, but I know from family and friends whose symptoms were similar to yours that there is a wide range of conditions which could be causing them.
Avoid Google if humanly possible, as everyone soon self-diagnosis themselves with everything from bubonic plague to psychopathy.
In 2005 I was diagnosed with HIV. I thought I'd just been handed a death-sentence... my ears were ringing, my mind was racing, I couldn't take in anything I was being told and I didn't know what questions to ask - It was like being hit by a truck. My long-term relationship fell apart immediately, because obviously it's a different kind of diagnosis to cancer. I told my boss and promptly lost my job, after that I went into self destruct mode. Months of total recklessness. The short version is that one evening, after watching the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen to this day, and drinking a half-bottle of vodka. Drunk and high, I drove my car into a tree at high speed... and lived, barely a scratch!
The next day was beautifully sunny, and I sat by my pond. I tried to remember all the things I still had, and it turned out to add up to more than I thought!
I'm not entirely sure I know where I'm going with this post, but when I got my cancer diagnosis, which is far more serious than the HIV, it felt like I'd been there before... if you know what I mean. Keep calm, take things one day/step at a time. The massive bonus is that - you will know, you can do something about it. Let the knowledge empower you. You will be in the position in which you need to be in.
My MRI was down to degenitive erosion - I am just now thinking I could have missed the signs for something more serious - but I think it’s just coincidence and I am reading to much into it.
I am trying to focus on the other more positive issues that it can be - but it is really hard for the mind not to wonder to the most life threatening.
I never knew what fear Really felt like until having to experience such health challenges and my heart and soul goes out to everyone who posts on here - it has been such a good way to express my feelings with those that truly understand. I can only hope and pray that the news is positive as can be.
I just wondered whether the MRI had shown any sign of cancer? We get a few people on here whose cancer was found by accident whilst having a scan for something else. My own was found during an endoscopy for a suspected peptic ulcer.
It is amazing how much a HIV prognosis has changed over the past twenty years. I just hope a similar step change happens with Cancer over the next twenty years.
You are right, one day at a time is the only way to go. Never give up - it isn't over until the BMI challenged person sings!