Hi there ...

Just want to send you a great big vertual hug ... just hold on to his hand ... walk this journey with him ... so glad he's piecfull. . That counts for a lot .. what we all want ... there's so many here that have been where you are now ... try to live in the day ... and know you can always put your thoughts and feelings down here ... we'll hold your hand, while you hold his ... Chrissie

Thank you for replying when family have gone home and I am here alone just watching knowing someone is out there just understanding is so comforting. He is on a hospital bed in the lounge and I sleep on the sofa as I know he doesn't want to sleep alone.  The hospice and palatine care team are wonderful but I don't like to worry them as I know they are really busy.  So having this support really helps  

Hi there ... and your very welcome ... but one thing I would say, is use the hospice and palative care team .. even if you just get a short break .. someone close to me, did everything for his wife .. and she only wanted him .. but it took so much out of him .. if he'd had a couple of little brakes he'd have coped far better ... and Marie Currie are amazing with palative care ... look on their home page ... 

But if you want to chat any time .. just press my little pic .. and put in a friend request, it will come strait to me .. or just write here whichever you want ... I can't take it away .. but I can listen .. I'm on here most days ... so hang on hunny ... your not alone ...  Chrissie

Hi Christie you are one of the angels that make someone feel they are not alone and for that I say thank you from the bottom of my heart Dottie 

Hi there Dottie ..

Here if you wanna chat hunny ... hold on ... there's lots of us on here who care ..

Hi Pixie4dixie,

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. My mum passed away last Saturday and in the week leading up to that, she was also asleep the entire time and took no fluids. I just sat by her side and talked to her. I will pick her phone up and read the messages her friend have sent, I will tell her about my day, I will tell her what her grandson is up to, I will tell her that I loved her etc. I was told by the doctors that although they may be unresponsive, they can actually still hear you. I hope by talking to your husband, you can feel comforted too. 

Xoxo

Iseultmink

Hi pixie4dixie

I understand the agony that this is for you, and I'm so sorry that you're going through it.

My mum is about to be put on a syringe driver as shes barely eating or drinking and her liver is basically shutting down. To watch the person you love fade away from what they were is heartbreaking, but try and remember all the fun, good times that you had as you enter the final stages. Unfortunately for us I'm due to get married this Saturday and have accepted that my mum will only be there in spirit, so I completely understand how this must feel to have your husband go through the same thing. All I can say is talking it over with people who know what you're going through can really help, sometimes the words of a stranger can help more than having family support. This chat group is fantastic for getting your words and emotions out, and there are plenty of people who are willing to reach out .

I wish you the very best. 

X

Hi Lian,

I am so sorry to hear about your mum.

I just wanted to wish you all the very best for tomorow. This should be the best day of your life, but I'm sure that it will be tinged with sadness.

Is there any chance that you could pop in to see you mum in your wedding dress? As I'm sure that you already know, her hearing will be the last sense to go and, I'm sure that she would really cherish the fact that she could be part of your day in some small way.

I have been through this with my own mum and know just how hard it can be.

I shall be thinking of you tomorrow and hope that, despite what is happening, you manage to have a fabulous day.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Iseultmink,

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your mum last week and offer my sincere sympathy.

I lost my mum-in-law, who was like a mum to me , three weeks ago. She had a few years in a hospital bed at home, but we managed to keep her at home to the end, as se would have wanted.

This is a horrible time. I am thinking of you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Dottie,

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. It is so difficult when you are coping with everything on your own. Do you have any support from family and friends, or do you have any carers comiing in to help out?

We lost my mother-in-law, who was like a mum to me, 3 weeks ago. We managed to keep her at home in a hospital bed to the very end, as she would have wanted. For the past 2 years she has lived on 1 Ensure drink divided into 3 for each meal time. This was all she had each day. At the end, we couldn't even persuade her to drink this. As your husband's condition nears the end and his system is shutting down, you will find that he cannot cope with food or drink, so don't try to force him.

She was 94 and for the past few years my 97 year old father-in-law looked after her on his own. When things got nearer to the end we got help from carers, who came in 3 times a day to wash and clean her, change pads, bedding, etc. This was an intrusion into my father-in-laws life, but a great help to them both.

I know only too well the misery of standing there watching to see if she was still breathing. Sadly, one night she had stopped.

Please keep in touch. We are always here for you.

I am thinking of you both and wishing you the strength to see this through.

Kind regrds,

Jolamine xx