Together we will beat cancer



15 Jun 2013 09:11

Hi Kathryn,

I just wanted to post a message to say how much my thoughts are with you today on the first anniversary of losing your Dad.

I am not sure whether the nervousness and shock of how quickly the year had passed was worse than the day itself  but at least I didn't also have the added difficulty of Fathers day to deal with.

I hope you are able to get through today with minimal fuss and sadness although I know that is asking a lot and I hope you can visit the site to let us know how youare getting on.  In the meantime I have to go and destroy my garden and start it from scratch but I will keep an eye on here as the day goes on.

Best thoughts and wishes

Garf. x


15 Jun 2013 23:12 in response to GARF

Hello Garf,

Thank you so much, it is lovely of you to think of me.  The Fathers Day thing wont bother me much as my Father was never one for all that 'commercial ****', and I take after him in that!!  I am a bit of a hypocrit here, as today I bought and drank (and I very rarely drink fizzy juice these days) a bottle of coke just because it said 'share a coke with Dave', my Dads name - they really got me there didnt they!

Today Raymond and I decided to go up to Nairn (near Inverness), where Dad grew up and where we scattered some of his ashes last July, at my request.  I put flowers on the family graves (Dad is not there, he is in Aberdeen where my stepmother can visit him) but to me Dad was a Nairn boy, and that is where I feel closest to him now.   I listened to Neil Diamonds 'Jonathan Livingstone Seagull' on the way up, which my Dad loved and we played at his funeral at his request (years ago, long before his illness).  It was difficult to listen to, but it also gave me a chance to have a wee cry and think about him on the journey.  I was sitting in the back seat as we took my Granny (my Mums mum) up with us and she said 'have you got the cold Kathryn' as I kept blowing my nose, I said 'A wee touch of it Granny' but actually I was just having a good bawling session!  Anyway,  I sort of resent marking the anniversary of Dads death, but its not like you get a choice, because the date is just so significant.  On the whole it was less upsetting than the 27th March, this would have been his 65th birthday, and it was just heart wrenching to think that bloody awful disease took that away from him.  Oh well, enough waffle from me, thank you once again for your kind thoughts, it really was lovely to come on here and read your message, Kathryn


19 Jun 2013 17:15 in response to katielouie

Hi Kathryn,

I was just reading your message.  Firstly, it was good to read how you  marked the first anniversary of your father's passing, and I hope the day as a whole was not too painful for you.  Like you say, I am sure there were mixed emotions, on the one hand you wanted to mark it but on the other hated having to because of what it meant.

It was actually your comment about your Dad's 65th birthday that made me want to write - we celebrated my Dad's 65th last year, and had a lovely family party and a few close family friends.  It was wonderful, because it was around the time we had a heatwave in July, just before the Olympics started.  My parents have a beautiful garden, and because of the lovely weather over the time we were up for Dad's birthday, we were in the garden lots, having BBQs and just enjoying the summer.  It has really special memories for me, and I had really wanted to celebrate my Mum's 65th, which would have been this August, in a similar way - when she first told me about her diagnosis, one of the first thoughts I had was 'I so hope she makes it to August so we can celebrate her birthday' - sadly, like your Dad, she didn't make it.  This will sound silly as well, but I love making cakes, celebration cakes in particular.  I had a  lot of fun making one for my Dad last year, and had been planning the one to make for Mum - I might just still make it and we can light the candles in her honour.

Sorry for rambling on there, I guess I just wanted to say how much I understand you finding the day of your Dad's 65th so difficult - it is a milestone birthday, and our beloved parents have both been robbed of reaching it.

I hope you are doing ok, take care,

Catherine x