I lost my dad 9 weeks ago he had brain tumers and was in hospital he was in no pain and was eating and drinking .on the Wednesday he had a little headache so he had a small dose of morphine on the thurday they were giving him small doses by mouth .on the Thursday night I sat with him until 11pm he was fine when I left him.on the Friday lunchtime he was sitting in bed being fed his lunch first time he had to be fed and he was very tired looking I know now it was the drugs they were giving him.I said dad how you feeling today and he said he was as happy as the flowers in May.the nurse's then told me they were putting the driver in I started crying but felt that I couldn't question a doctor's decision I was confused I want bk and kissed my dad and told him I loved him when I went bk a few hours later oh my god what we had to watch was horrific dark brown liquid coming out of dad's mouth that had to be pumped out with a machine this went on for 2 days it was that bad I fainted at his bedside he looked like he was in pain and I felt like he was locked inside himself and couldn't move when the priest came to see him my dad was tring to move and talk when he heard the Lord's prayer .on the same day just before I saw him take his last breath there was tears in his eyes and he was trying to make noices.I could go on forever the thing is I shouldn't have left them put the driver in because if the truthe be told the nhs took my father's life and I can't forgive myself or them he was palliative care and I think that's why they did it but no one will give me answers.I'm in so much pain that iv turned to writing on this site if never done anything like this before I'm not even on Facebook or any social media.but when I'm strong enough I'm going to get legal advice so this never happens to any one else. God bless you dad.
As there seem to be some misconceptions around regarding syringe drivers I thought it might be useful to repost this :
Syringe drivers are merely a way of administering drugs in a continuous and controlled way - they don't make the drugs work any differently than taking them orally or by other injection routes. People can be on them for months if that is the best way to receive drugs. There are a few reasons to use a syringe driver:
Problems in swallowing or tolerating drugs taken by mouth
To replace regular injections of drugs
To give a very consistent effect - eg for pain killers etc - drug level doesn't in the same way as seperate doses.
They are not used to hasten death, but to make people comfortable in the last stages of their lives.
Hope that helps
Luke (a pharmacist so I have a bit of knowledge on this subject)
Thank you luke for taking the time to reply and I beleive that the driver might be ok in some cases where the patient is not eating or drinking and they are near the end but my dad wasn't ready for the driver I found out that it wasn't the doctor that authorised the driver it was the head nurse at hospital I didn't think nurse's could do that. I'm seeing my doctor today as I can't cope with how my dad died and thank you again
I am one of the nurses and our moderators wondered if there was anything that we could say that might help at this difficult time. To be honest I am not sure that there is much that I can add to what Luke has already said. Also as we were not involved in your dad’s care I am afraid that we cannot say much about the decisions that were made. But I am sorry to learn that you are upset about his care.
You mentioned that you are seeing your GP. I hope that this was useful, for you. It is not unusual to feel pain and distress for quite some time after the loss of a loved one. Talking can help a little. Therefore if you think it might be useful you are very welcome to call the nurse team directly to talk about things. Our freephone number is 0808 800 4040 and we are here from Monday to Friday between the hours of 9am to 5pm.
I'm so sorry to hear about the trauma your Dad suffered at the end of his life and that you had to witness it.
Luke has already given you a good explanation about what syringe drivers are and how they work. I don't think the syringe driver itself would have made any difference, but there are other questions you could ask your GP which might help explain why your Dad had such an awful experience.
In your place I'd ask why his condition deteriorated so rapidly, were the drugs changed after the syringe driver was used, was he being given sufficient fluids, what exactly was the brown liquid in his mouth and what caused it, has there has been a Post Mortem exam - if there has been one did this reveal anything unexpected and finally did anything go wrong with your Dad's treatment? These may seem obvious but difficult questions to ask, but asking them is probably the only way you'll get the answers you need.
I know how devastating it is to lose a parent to cancer, but losing your Dad under such circumstances must be truly awful.
I hope you get the answers you need. Nothing will make things any better but knowing what, if anything, went wrong might help you get through the next few days and might help save someone else from going through a similar experience.
Thank you for taking the time to reply I have spoken to my doctor a few times about my dad's death and he believes that questions need to be answered .I have spoken to the doctor that was attending to my dad and she got a bit annoyed with me asking questions I then spoke to the head nurse and she alsolooked uncomfortable when I asked why the driver was givin so suddenly.she said the brownish fluids was blood coming from somewhere my poor dad was fine b 4 he got the driver.no there was no postmortom done as my dad was terminal .my dad's death was so awful and I never want that to happen to anyone ever again so I have made a decision to go to a solicitor and ask him to help me get answers because the people involved won't give me a straight answer I'm also going to be getting counciling as I won't take medication. even the hospital staff said it was the worst they had seen in 30years. I feel in my heart so strong that something's wasn't right . Thank you
And Dave thank you again your words have helped and your right the reason I have to do something is so it never happens again to anyone in that hospital other people in my town have told me there bad experiences with the hospital so I'm not alone thank you and take care
It's been six months now since my dad passed and there has been an investigation by the McMillan nurse that's the head of my area.I have a meeting on Tuesday about the outcome. I havnt been on this chat since I first put it on I have been to hell and back felt every emotion possibly , but I want you all to know who have lost someone to cancer that what you go through makes you a stronger person you must beleive in time that the pain never leaves but god gives you time to breath and you learn to accept that your loved ones are at peace . I don't know what made me go bk on this tonight mabye just to say hang in there this pain will get easier and you will get through this because our loved ones that have passed don't want to see us suffer and we will be together in a better life. God bless
Im sorry to say this luke but what you said isnt always the case unless you have been through what our family went through you cant say that the drugs dont have anything to do with there death in my dad's case I believe the drugs killed him I'm sorry but no disrespect to you I know you are only trying to help but every case is different my dad's case was horrific and was under investigation I get answers on Tuesday. But I have to say that my dad's case was so unbelievably because there was circumstances that I can't talk about yet but I will when I'm ready then youus can judge thank you and god bless
Thanks for the update, I'm glad that you've reached acceptance and are feeling emotionally stronger. I hope things go OK for you on Tuesday and you get the answers you need to all your questions.
Thank you for your reply.i have known for 7 months that the driver killed my father and I followed my heart to prove this as I don't want anyone going through what he did. dad was not near ready for the driver .there has been an investigation at the hospital and for a while I thought there was going to be a cover up but i was so excited when I got a phone call on friday from the top people who handle complaints on the nhs there is a big meeting tomorrow. Monday. They have told me that there is certain things they are not happy about in dad's medical report and they are very concerned and that I should be proud of myself for not giving up.it's a big meeting tomorrow and hopefully I'l get answers as my heart is broken what I saw dad go through.so follow your heart and get the answers you need or you will never move on .I will let you know how the meeting goes take care
I went to see the doctor and we asked questions i took my son with me because he nose about this, he asked the doctor was it a driver he said we can't use that word it was jus a very high pain relief, but it wasn't morphine but it was from the Same family with a different name, my dad was given that by mouth first with one ove then little cups then with a siringe, but i can still see his face it was really tromatizen and i can't stop crying i have the fruneral to go to yet.
No he hasn't had a post mortem half a hour the nurse came in to roll him washed him down took his socks off but clean sheets on and took the driver out his lung were filling up with water , it was really traumatizing that was half 3 by 4he was dead ever time we were talking to him his leg and toes were moving he was moving his jaw trying to say sum it.my dad wasn't ready to go, if he can get through having nearly thirty strokes which his thirteen one paralysed him.and he was suppose to come home on the day he died, the bed and every thing was brought to the house, im dreading the funeral. Yes thay did take him off his meds and changed some ove them