Hello Lucy2018,

A relationship between a father and his daughter is an extremely special and we are never prepared to think about life on this earth without our parents.  You are grieving the idea of how you thought your life would be at this point and your fear of what life with be in the future. 

You may find comfort in a grief support group.  Many times we think these groups are for after someone passes, but the grieving process can begin long before someone actually passes.

My dad died of a suddent heart attack and two weeks later my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer.  I began grieving the loss of both my parents at that time.  We were lucky enough to spend five years with my mom after her diagnosis, but I weaved in and out of the adrenaline-do what you gotta do to feeling alone, fearful and depressed.

My first piece of advice is that your feelings are perfectly normal.  You need to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling.  "Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing.  Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming.  All we can do is learn to swim."  Vicki Harrison

You can do this....you are strong!! The love that your dad has shown you over the years with eventually carry you through these difficult times.  It is hard to put grief on hold, but try not to let it interfere with the time you have with dad.  Turn to your faith!  God will carry you through it.

With Love and Hugs!

Lori

Hi there Lucy 2018.  Sorry about your dad's illness.  I know the feeling you described of being alone although surrounded by people.  When my mum was first diagnosed I felt myself and the other two family members were each walking round in our own little circles and we never met up with each other.  Fortunately we managed to break out of this and our circles all met in places.   So I would say make an effort to share your innermost thoughts with your family and I hope they will open up to you as well.  I have helped care for quite a few cancer patients and the thing I soon realised was that they wanted to be treated in the same way as they were prior to becoming ill.  Don't make them feel apart from normality.  Talk about the things that have always interested them, laugh at the things you have always laughed at together and do what you can to remind them they are still the same person you have always known and loved.  Try not to stress them out by showing how distressed you are.  Of course there will be times when the discussion is more serious but do your best to go with what your dad wants.  Not always easy.  There is no easy way as nothing that has happened in your life previously prepares you for knowing you are going to lose a parent.  You can always come here and let off steam!

Hi

Sorry to hjack this post. 

Unfortunately I can’t offer any advice as I am in the same situation and looking for the same advice! So just know you are not alone.

Lhovey my mum has been recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer (I think it’s also in her stomach but not sure as the doctors are being very vague saying might and not sure). We haven’t been given a time frame or anything but she is in pain constantly and feels sick all the time so can’t get out of bed

Hello laura.  So sorry to hear how your mum is suffering.  Is there nothing can be done to minimise her pain?  To be in such pain means that everything is awful - it just seems all wrong in this day and age that some cancer patients suffer so much in this way.  Have you (very clearly!) spoken to her doctor about this.  Is there nothing that can be done?  I don't mean to suggest that you are not doing this - just that procedures seem to vary between doctors and this is such an important thing for you all.

Annieliz thank you for the words of support. I am sorry to hear what you have been through also. It is a terrible illness which is so destructive but this forum is a blessed way to connect with those who can share you experiences. 

Many thanks again xx