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4 Dec 2017 22:01

My Dad has terminal Lung Cancer. He has finished a round of chemo and radio and now we have to wait until the new year to see if the treatment has helped prolong his life.

My Dad rarely gets dressed, will only go outside if he has an appointment and you are constantly on treading on egg shells when it comes to his mood. As you can my Mum, Sister, Dad and myself are all depressed and on medication to help us.  Myself and my sister took steps ourselves to get involved with counselling and help sessions my Mum and Dad don’t do anything.

My Dad won’t do anything but watch TV all day. My Mum generally sleeps her day away and drinks alcohol. My Dad I sacred and takes out his anger on my Mum by make unnecessary comments  which in turn makes the situation harder on her.

MYself and my sister have also just found out that my Mum was told last year that she has damaged her liver and she needs to stop drinking. My Mums friend got drunk and blurted it out.


I have a Dad who will die from cancer at some point but doesn’t want to do anything. Not even something as basic as going for a walk with me or Tesco shop or anything. He has just given up. I can’t imagine what he is going through and I understand tht it’s frightening him and he is scared but people really don’t seem to realise how hard it effects me or my family .  My mum is also potentially now going to have bad health problems and denies that she is drinking too much and smoking too much. I seem to have 2 parents who have no fight to live. As their daughter I am watching them both deteriorate. My younger sister is also facing the same struggles and is looking for me to guidance. I have run out of options and advice. I have lost friends since my Dads diagnose, I suppose it’s times like this when it shows who will stick around.


I find it a battle myself to get through the day and I find I have to take on the weight of my Dad and my Mum as well trying to to make my sister feel better. I am running out of give. Everyday is a bitter atmosphere in my house no one knows how to cope and everyone e is angry.

Re: Struggles

6 Dec 2017 08:11 in response to HollyBerry2017

Do you have a Macmillan nurse assigned to you? My husband has terminal cancer and only months to live. Our palliative care nurse is wondweful, and visits of rings us every week.Best wishes to you, hope that you find some help

Re: Struggles

20 Dec 2017 13:35 in response to jai

We do have a nurse assigned to us.


My Mum and Sister have spoken to her, I havn't yet. My sister siad that she didnt find our nu8rse very helpful. Wonderful for my Dad and helping him through the process and giving him information but not so much with helping the family members.

Re: Struggles

21 Dec 2017 08:40 in response to HollyBerry2017

Sorry to hear that  that your nurse is not helpful to your family,it may be that your dad does not want her to discuss things with you? Try talking to the nurse yourself, explain how you feel, if not then I think that there are cancer nurses on this site who may be able to advise you, may be worth speaking to them. Your dad probably feels too weak to want to  do anything, I know that is awful when you want your dad to try to do things, and he won't , and your mum is not coping, sometimes the grief is so strong that it  overcomes everyone. Do you have any friends or family that you can talk to? It may help if you and your sister could go out together, or else for you to go out with friends, just for a walk, or coffee, and talk about things. Would it help to talk to your mum and dad about happy times in your life, childhood memories, funny events? Can you get family or friends to visit and try to lighten things? Not sure if any of these ideas help, or whether you have tried these things. If you want to vent, feel free to reply .xxx