I am awoken at 5.00 am by a neighbours diesel car left running! I shove my head in the pillow,  I NEED MY SLEEP! 7.30 am the council decide to send the kerb cleaning machine around our Culde sac, ,  I give up, go into the garden to test the grass, it's too wet to mow, this was one of the jobs I put off yesterday along with the ironing,  so I take hubby a cup of tea, come downstairs and start my chores.   My little six year old grandson calls me as it's Daddy's birthday and they re going out for lunch.   I love you Grandma he sys, and I'm blowing you kisses out of the 1 window to your house, that's lovely I say,  I hope they make the 270 mile trip!    I miss him so much but cannot leave hubby to see him and have hugs nd kisses, the cancer is ruling our lives and I am missing the best part of his childhood.  Hopefully when the radiotherapy is complete I can make the October half term, my heart aches for his little body.  Hubby looks tired and is coughing again. I hope last week's scan shows good news,  I couldn't bear it if the news was bad.  Say a little prayer for us both.