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Stay Strong

13 Aug 2017 17:35

It's a beautiful day and we set off for the pub to retrieve the specs we left on Thursday.  Hubby is not up to Sunday lunch as his mouth is still sore, this is taking a long time to heal from chemo ten days ago.  We meander home but have to stop and stretch our legs as my estimate of fifty miles turns out to be 72!  Good job I wasn't planning a hike! .  The sky is blue and white fluffy clouds scud across the sky, a good day to be alive. Two minutes from home and the news mentions smoking related problems, Suddenly the peace is shattered as hubby accuses me of winding him up by pointing this story out, this is so difficult,  it's like walking on egg shells.  For the first time in months we are not talking to each other.  

Stay Strong

14 Aug 2017 03:08 in response to Dor06

 

Hi Carol,

Sorry to hear this, but there will most likely be more moments like this. It is the people closest to those who are suffering cancer that get the brunt of our frustrations at times. This is where you need to be the strong one, even though you feel badly done by.

Thinking of you and hoping that there will be an apology and a resolution by tomorrow.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Stay Strong

14 Aug 2017 09:32 in response to Jolamine

Well the stand off lasted until bedtime!  Then ask for a hug and a kiss from him I hasten to add!!  Must remember not to talk about smoking as this is his related cancer!   Thanks for your thoughts.  Carol x

Stay Strong

14 Aug 2017 12:36 in response to Dor06

 

Hi Carol,

I am so glad that you have made up. You will probably have a few of these 'barnies' in time. For some reason, we seem to lash out at those closest to us.

My husband was an absolute brick with all the abuse that I threw at him during the early days of my diagnosis. This was totally unintentional and I certainly had no reason to point any venom in his direction. I knew that it was wrong when we were arguing, I kept telling myself that it wasn't his fault, but that didn't stop me from goading him at times. What really annoyed me was that he would never rise to the bait.

Take care and stay strong.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

 

Stay Strong

14 Aug 2017 14:38 in response to Jolamine

I have tried very hard to understand the frustration,  no one knows how you would react if it was yourself with cancer.   We will never fully understand the terrible situation you find yourself in.  I think at the moment we feel in limbo awaiting radio,  it's a false lull in the ongoing treatments yet knowing it won't be "cured".  I hope you are doing ok.  Carol. Xx

Stay Strong

14 Aug 2017 14:54 in response to Dor06

 

Hi Carol,

It's not just the frustration. It's a combination of frustration, fear, anger, dread, exhaustion, worry, devastation, hopelessness, tears and a plethora of other emotions, too many to mention.

I knew that I was venting this on my family and hated myself for doing this, but at the time I had nowhere else to go. Things improved dramatically when I found this site and had somewhere to turn to, where I was assured that all of these feelings were perfectly normal. I also went to a Maggie's centre and the Haven where I could talk to other cancer sufferers and avail of some of the relaxation sessions they run.

Try to be patient and understanding with your hubby. He is going through an awful lot.

Regards,

Jolamine xx