Hi there ... and welcome ...

So sorry to hear your all going through such a sad time right now ...

All I can tell you are my thoughts, how I coped loosing my mum and dad, but everyone if different, with different things that work for them ... but this is mine ..

My mum and best buddy to me and my boys who were 7 and 16 ... when I lost mum to a heart attack, in the morning we chatted on the phone about her comming up mine the next day and the last thing she said was see ya tomorrow love. .. and then at 5.20 that afternoon she was gone ... she was a huge part of our lives ... but I knew, this was the first loss for my son's ... how I coped would be the things they learned from me as mum about loosing their nanny, and would go with them in the years to come ..

I told the young one very gently, telling him nanny was safe in heaven now, where she would see her mum and dad again, she'd not need her walking stick, or her tablets, and she'd be one of those shining stars in the sky looking down to tell us how much she loves us ... the older lad was harder, he'd just joined the army and was training ... but telling him as gently as I could, that lady that worshiped him from the day he was born wasn't here any more ...

We shared hugs, and tears... coz they need to know it's o.k to cry, it's o.k to feel sad, it's gonna hurt .. but we did it together ... and then we'd do something fun... coz that's what my mum would have told me to do... so as a mum, we have to hold their hand first, and we come after that .. we have taken my mum and dad with us, talking about her and how she laughed and the fun we had .. 

On my cancer journey, I've prepaired my granddaughter as gently when she asked if I was going to die .. that the Drs are TRYING to make me better .. but she knows all about my mum and her star, and thinks those white feathers we find are from her .. so I've said if I do, then I'll be right next to my mum's star, and I'll be looking down to make sure she's o.k ... and she's happy with that ... and I know she'll feel sad, but she'll make it .. 

Don't know if any of this will help ... but sending you all a big vertual hug at this time .. chrissie